Gay Zodiacs
by Volcan 300
Summary: This is what happens when all the zodiacs turn gay! What shall happen? i suck at summaries so just R&R!
1. Yuki's Gay?

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 1 - Yuki's Gay?

Hey! It's Volcan 300 here! This is my first really gay story so don't be to mean! Sorry if it looks all 'script' like!

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(actions) **_thoughts_**

The story takes place at Yuki, Tohru, and Kyo's school. Shigure and Ayame decided they would come for the hell of it!

Shigure: (singing voice) High school girls! High school girls!

Yuki: This is the Jr. High section, Shigure.

Shigure: Awww man...

Ayame: (on the phone with Hatori) Hatori! Shigure is all upset because there is no High school girls over here!

Hatori: (on the other end) Stop calling me every five seconds, Ayame. (hangs up)

Ayame: Hatori? (looks at his phone)

The three of them entered the health class. There was a substitute that day.

Teacher: All right class! (looks at Shigure and Ayame) Aren't you two a little old for this class?

Shigure: If we were then why would we be in this class?

Teacher: Good point. Well anyways, I'm your sub and if you didn't finish your study guide for the test tomorrow, then finish it. If you're done, then do whatever.

Shigure and Ayame go to Yuki. They corner him and leaning against him.

Shigure: Yuki-kun! I love you!

Yuki: NO! GO AWAY, SHIGURE! (ayame edges closer to Yuki) YOU TOO, AYAME!

Ayame: (pulls out his phone and calls Hatori) Hatori, Yuki doesn't want me around him! What shall I do Haa-san?

Hatori: (other end) You can start by stop calling me when something starts! (hangs up)

Shigure: (sits on Yuki's hand) YUKI! You pervert! Stop grabbing my ass!

Yuki: WHAT! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAT ON MY HAND!

Ayame: (calls Hatori again) Hatori! Yuki is starting to grab Shigure's ass! How can I win him back?

Hatori: Stop calling me! (hangs up)

a/n: (laughs) I'm so evil to Yuki...

Yuki runs to the other corner where there are girls. Ayame and Shigure quickly follow him.

Yuki: Too bad for you that i can turn into a mouse and no one would hardly notice!

Ayame: Well I can turn into a snake and no one would hardly notice!

Shigure: But people would notice me...

Yuki: (laughs) That's because your a stupid gay perverted dog, _Spot_.

Shigure: Darn you! And Tohru's stupid name for me!

Ayame: (calls Hatori) Hatori, Shigure and Yuki are getting into a huge fight!

Hatori:(screams in the phone) HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP CALLING ME? (hangs up)

Shigure and Yuki: Do you really have to call Hatori every five seconds?

Ayame: (calls Hatori) Hatori! They're being evil to me!

Hatori: Good! (hangs up)

Ayame: Yes I do have to call Hatori every five seconds!

Yuki: Lord! (goes to his desk)

Shigure: (follows him and sits in the desk in front of his) What'cha writing, Yuki-kun?

Yuki: Nothing! (tries to cover it up so Shigure can't read it)

Shigure: Lemme see! (tries to get the note book from Yuki)

Yuki: (fighting back) NO!

Shigure: GOT IT! (pulls the note book away from Yuki and reads it) 'Yuki loves Ritsu'. I KNEW IT! (goes to Ayame) Ayaa! Look!

Ayame: 'Yuki loves Ritsu'? AND NOT ME! (cries and calls Hatori) HATORI!

Hatori: (pissed) HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO CALL ME? (hangs up)

Ayame: (doesn't realize that Hatori hung up) Yuki loves Ritsu and not me! That's sad!

Yuki: (blushes) GIVE THAT TO ME! (grabs it back from Shigure and starts writing something else)

Shigure: What are you writing this time? (looks over his shoulder and grabs the note book when Yuki is done writing) 'Yuki loves Haru'! Ayaa! Look at this! (goes back to Ayame)

Ayame: 'Yuki loves Haru'? Yuki you don't love me?

Yuki: Nope.

Ayame: (bursts out crying then calls Hatori again) Hatori! Yuki said he doesn't love me! And that he loves Haru and Ritsu instead!

Hatori: (had enough) IF YOU CALL ME AGAIN, I SWEAR...!

Shigure: (grabs Ayame's phone) Hatori, it's me, Shigure. It's true! I have the living proof in my hands! (Yuki grabs his note book back) Well, not any more. Yuki just grabbed it from me...

Hatori: Do I really care about Yuki's personal life? (hangs up)

Ayame: (trying to grab his phone back) I want to talk to Haa-san!

Yuki: Am I the only sane one here?

Shigure: (still holding Ayame's phone) I know! I shall call Haru and tell him the great news!

Yuki: WHAT?

Ayame: Give me back my phone, Gure-nii!

Shigure: (holding Ayame back) Hey Haru! I'mcalling to tell you that Yuki loves you!

Haru: (other end) HE WHAT?

Shigure: He'll even say it to you! (Yuki doesn't say anything) I LOVE YOU HARU! (Shigure said this in a deep voice then goes back to normal) Yuki has a horrible sore throaght.

Haru: YAY! I get to have Yuki to myself all night tonight!

Shigure: Nope. Me and Ayaa get him tonight. You can have him tomorrow!

Haru: Alright! Bye! (hangs up)

Shigure: We shall teach you how to be a man Yuki!

Yuki: NO!

Ayame: And you will also learn to tap dance!

Yuki: The tap dance isn't a gay dance. That's the hat dance that's gay.

Shigure: No. Tap dancing is gay for men.

Yuki: BUT I DON'T WANT TO LEARN TO BE GAY!

Shigure: Too bad.

Yuki: No! You can't get away with this!

Shigure: You'll have to go home sometime.

Yuki: Not really. I have a secret base!

Shigure: I know where that secret base is!

Yuki: DRATS!

Shigure: There'll be cheese, Yuki-kun! (smiles)

Yuki: No...

Shigure: And strawberries!

Yuki: I like strawberries!

Shigure: I'll give you them later tonight!

Yuki: Nooo... (slowly giving up)

Finally for Yuki the bell rang so he quickly ran out the class room door. Leaving Ayame and Shigure in the dust.

Shigure: What's up with him? (looks at Ayame)

Ayame: (on the phone with Hatori again) Hatori! Yuki just left us in the dust! What shall we do?

Hatori: (doesn't answer but hangs up)

Yuki had a whole period alone but then Ayame came in there.

Yuki: NOOOOOO!

After that period, Yuki and Ayame met up with Shigure in the next period.

Yuki: I'm not sitting next to him! (indecating Ayame)

Shigure: Fine then... (sighs) I'll sit between the two of you.

Yuki: Thank you.

Shigure: (singing again) High school girls! High school girls!

Yuki: (sighs) You're hopeless...

Shigure: (still singing it) High school girls! High school girls! (this old woman comes through the door) YOU'RE NOT A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL!

Yuki: God... (shakes his head)

Ayame: Poor Shigure...

Shigure starts smiling.

Yuki: What are you smiling about?

Shigure: Wouldn't you like to know?

Yuki: Yes I would.

Shigure: This. (draws a picture of him in his dog form on top of mouse form Yuki)

Yuki: Yeah, I was thinking about the same thing.

Shigure: YAY!

Yuki: Yay what?

Shigure: You were thinking of the same thing!

Yuki: Oh yeah. Ok, I wonder what Ayaa is thinking.

Shigure: What are you thinking, Ayaa?

Ayame: FLOWERS! (smiles brightily)

Shigure: That's... Nice...

Yuki: Flowers? And I'm sitting here thinking about sex and he's thinking about FLOWERS! What a queer!

Shigure: That's Ayaa for you...

Ayame: LA LA LA! (starts drawing flowers)

Yuki: QUEER!

Ayame: Not... (cries)

Shigure: WHAT THE---! (sweat drops)

Ayame: Maybe people shouldn't hear this... (lots of sweat drops)

Shigure: Why not? (still a few sweat drops)

Yuki: Oh go play with you vibrator.

Ayame: Sick and wrong.

Shigure: I bet Yuki has one! (still sweat drop)

Yuki: I do not have one! I was not gay till five minutes ago!

Shigure: So you've finally fallen for my charm, Yuki?

Yuki: Sure...

Shigure: I'm so happy!

Yuki: Hmmm. Cheese!

Shigure: And strawberries!

Yuki: Yes!

Ayame: Hee Hee! (smiles)

Bell rings and they leave for home. Ayame suprisingly goes to his house while Shigure and Yuki go to Shigure's house.


	2. The Gay Men's Day Together

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 2 - Gay Men's Day Together

Hey! I certainly got a lot of hits in one day! (laughs) Well anyways, hope you like this story!

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THANK YOU LIST! 

Greenday4ever18 - My first and only reviewer! Thank you so much!

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(actions) **_thoughts_**

Shigure, Ayame, Yuki, and others went ahead to school. Shigure and Ayame were goingtoYuki's school to bug the hell out of Yuki. But poor Haru slept in an hour later. He didn't arrive to school till the middle of second period. But instead of watching him in science, we shall watch him dealing with Ayame in Art...

Ayame: (brightly) HEY HARU!

Haru: Huh? Oh, it's just you, Ayaa...

Ayame: What's wrong Haru?

Haru: I thought this was Yuki's next class...

Ayame: Nope. He has science.

Haru: (amazed) And you're not there bugging him like usual?

Ayame: That's at lunch, health, math, and fwc when I get to bug Yuki.

Haru: (jumps out of his seat) My God!

Ayame: What? All I'm doing is teaching him (gets in a weird voice) all the forms of men romance!

Haru: So he can be ready for tonight?

Ayame: I suppose... (looks upset)

Haru: (shrugs and turns on his ipod) ...Jump back and forth... (he was singing 'DARE' by the Gorillaz)

Ayame: (calls Hatori) Hatori!

Hatori: (the day begins now with Ayame calling Hatori) What do you want, Ayame?

Ayame: You should hear Haru sing!

Hatori: Haru can sing? And stop calling me! (hangs up)

Ayame: (starts drawing more flower pictures)

Lunch came so fast that all that happen was Haru leaning on Yuki while he was listening to his ipod. Yuki trying to get away from Haru. Ayame and Shigure laughing at them. Shigure was also touching Ayame... Tohru (a/n can't leave her out now can we?) thinking of a way to stop Yuki and Haru, and Kyo hiding under the stairs from Haru, Shigure, and Ayame.

Kyo: (quietly to himself) They'll never find me here... heheheh...

Everyone excluding Tohru and Kyo were going to health. Taking a stupid test. Even Shigure and Ayame! They weren't even in that class. Haru got done with his test along with Shigure who was just guessing at the whole test with stupid comments. Like 'Why should a gay man like me need to worry about this?' and 'Heck no!' and 'Heck yes!'.

Shigure: Psst! Psst! Haru! Pass this to Yuki!

Haru: This is the last time I do your dirty work, sensei! (grabs the note to pass to Yuki and isabout to give it to Ayame but intercepted by a girl)

Girl: (reads the note and writes something down then gives it to Yuki)

Haru: (gets up and goes to the teacher) May I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Yes. (Haru leaves)

Yuki: (grabs the note and reads) **_'Yuki-kun! Do you miss me? Haru said that whenever 7th period comes that he's not sure if he can come. I think he's still trying to find the bathroom. Poor guy... So we might be able to see each other while he's still searching. I feel bad for you b/c in math you're stuck with Ayaa. Not that I don't like Ayaa or anything... How did you like last night? And the tap dance? And where are the high school girls? I want high school girls! Haru said he'll dance for you tonight. To some gay sounding song called 'DARE' by the Gorillaz. Who are the Gorillaz anyways? Can I donce to the song too? Please! I love you! - Shigure' Wait, there's another thing written below... 'Yuki, I know your whole gay life and all but, GET ME A PENGUIN! I'll be so happy if you do! Bring my penguin (or cow) tomorrow or else...! - Volcan' Who the heck names their kid Volcan? _**(looks at the back and sees pictures drawn. One was a penguin holding a gun killing someone)

After that long health and math periods of being tortured by Ayame, Yuki, trying to get away from him, practically ran to fwc. People would actually run away from fwc than TO it.

Teacher: There's gonna be a test today.

Shigure: (obviously doesn't belong in the class with Ayame) WHAT?

Teacher: You have known about this test for a whole week. (looking at Shigure) But I'll give you a few minutes to look over your study guide.

Shigure: (grabbing a study guide but not really studying. instead he was writing something down to Yuki)

Yuki: (wearing a girls' uniform) Yes, gonna try to and why do I have to wear this girls uniform? The thong is riding up my ass!

Shigure: But you look awsome!

Yuki: Thank you, glad you looked...

Shigure: (smiling) Why wouldn't I?

Yuki: Yes, well, needless to say, excessive starring!

Shigure: So?

Shigure: (getting his test, practically in tears because he didn't study) Noooo... (starts guessing at all of them the same way he did with the other test)

Yuki: (sighs) At least this keeps Ayaa quite and away from me for a while...

A little while later, Yuki finished his test along with Shigure who was guessing at the test again. When it asked 'name 3 leadership skills' Shigure wrote  
'1. taking over the world  
2. not listening to anybody but yourself  
3. become the president!' For bonus it asked 'how many sixes are in 1 through 100?' He just wrote a number down. It was 50. Probly the only thing he got right. Yuki and Shigure started passing notes in that class since they were bored.

Yuki: What's up Shigure?

Shigure: Drawing on my shoe.

Yuki: What are you drawing?

Shigure: Coloring actually.

Yuki: Coloring what?

Shigure: My shoe, see? (holds out his foot for Yuki to see)

Yuki: Ok, that's great. When Haru comes to dance for me can I wear normal clothes?

Shigure: You have to ask him...

Yuki: That's great. Ask him for me, would ya?

Shigure: When he comes back with Kyo, I will.

Yuki: They're not coming back. Just call him. They've been gone for hours.

Shigure: Maybe Haru is showing Kyo that his hair is natural...

Yuki: Just call him.

Shigure: Alrighty. You do know how gay that word is? (calls Haru then hangs up) Haru said it would be great if you wore your school girl dress.

Yuki: Oh great, call Hatori and tell him that Haru's gay!

Shigure: That's not new news.

Yuki: Well (very quietly that Shigure didn't quite hear) Hatori's hot, (back to normal voice) I mean no it's not.

Shigure: (shrugs) Well, he's always told you that he loves you. So that kinda makes him gay.

We now turn our attention to Kyo who is still hiding under the stairs.

Kyo: Man I'm hungry! (obviously didn't eat at lunch) But I can't risk my hiding spot!

Haru: (walking to the stairs)

Kyo: CRAP! Someone is coming!

Haru: (looks and sees Kyo under the stairs) Hey Kyo! (smiles)

Kyo: ACK! HARU! (trying to get away but Haru is blocking the only way out)

Haru: Kyo, come show me where the bathroom is! Maybe I'll show you that this is my natural hair color! (smiles more)

Kyo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Haru grabs Kyo and walks to the bathroom)

It's now after school and Yuki and Shigure are talking together in Shigure's house.

Yuki: Hey!

Shigure: Hey!

Yuki: What's going on?

Shigure: Not much. Starving! You?

Yuki: No I'm not. What are you starving for?

Shigure: No food over here so I'm eating crackers with cheese dip.

Yuki: Have you talked to ayame since school

Shigure: Nope.

Yuki: Hey if you don't go to his come tomine soI can flirt with you, okay?

Shigure: But I'll be there for tacos!

Yuki: OkI guess that's okay but is Ayaa coming with you or is he going home or is it gonna be just me and you...

Shigure: Dunno really..

Yuki: What do you want to happen? Do you want him to come?

Shigure: Don't care.

Yuki: Oh so you don't care? Your just interested in high school girls not your true love?

Shigure:(jumps up excitedly)THERE'S GONNA BE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS?

Yuki: No I'm just saying do you care more about true love or high school girls?

Shigure:I do love high school girls... But you too...

Yuki: Which one shigure?

Shigure: ...

Yuki: ...

(long silence)

Shigure: ...Both...? (sweat drop)

Yuki: No, one or the other Shigure.I love you with all my heart. You either return that or I'll disown you forever. (Shigure doesn't say anything)

Yuki: Shigure? (he still doesn't say anything)

Yuki: Answer me darling.

Shigure: I'm sleeping, angel

Yuki: Oh come on! Just pick one! Is it really that hard? (Shigure doesn't say anything)

Yuki:I love you. Isn't that enough?

Shigure:I dunno... You didn't let me wear your ring...

Yuki: But it's special andI couldn't let you have it because it was the only thingI have left that Akito left me before he tortured and molested me.

Shigure:I said WEAR it. Not keep it.

Yuki: Oh well.I could have let you, only if you promise to give it back. I'll let you wear it at Taco Bell.

Yuki: So who do you love more?

Shigure: Maybe... butI still get to look at the high school girls!

Yuki: Yeah sure as long as you say you love me more. Sure go ahead oggle them!

Shigure:I love you Yuki! ButI still get to look at the HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!

Yuki: YesI love you to with all my black concealed heart.

Yuki: Love you more than strawberries!

Shigure: Awww...

Yuki: And cheese!

Yuki: So were is Ayaa sleeping tonight?

Shigure: Dunno...

Yuki: Hopefully not with you.

(Shigure sweat drops)

Yuki: BecauseI dont know if there's gonna be enough room for all three of us, but i guess we can always make room.

Shigure: Your sleeping with Haru tonight.I promised him.

Yuki: No! God no! He will kill me!

Shigure: Who?

Yuki: Haru-san.

Shigure: Uh-uh.I promised him he could sleep with you tonight.

Yuki: Like sleep with me like actually sleep not any you know... Please say that there's not gonna be any of that!

Shigure:I don't know. That's up to Haru.

Yuki: Oh God, I'm dead!

Yuki: My legs are gonna be broken and my ass is gonna hurt like hell!

Shigure: Should me & Ayaa get the first aide kit ready?

Yuki: Please!I may not make it through tonight!

Yuki: I'm just kidding.I don't know how I'll feel till it comes around.

Shigure: That's the spirit!

Yuki: Ok thats great.

Yuki:I feel likeI got the spirit!

Shigure: Good! (smiles)

Yuki: Yeah, so we'll do something tomorrow night then.

Yuki: Are you free, Mr. Novelist?

Shigure: Lemme check my so busy schedual.

Yuki: Ok.

Yuki: Or are you gonna be pmsing cause you have writers block?

Shigure: I can pms?

Yuki: Yea when your writing you get all moody and crap just like pmsing.

Shigure: Oh.

Yuki: Yeah.

Yuki: Oh baby, oh baby.

Shigure: Let's see, I have an appointment with Dr. Sea Horse. And then my suicidical publisher or whatever she is, is coming but I can make her suffer more! (smiles)

Yuki: I meant at night.

Shigure: She is coming that night.

Yuki: Oh what about at three in the morning?

Shigure: I won't be awake.

Yuki: I could wake you up.

Yuki: You don't go to work.

Yuki: You just sit around all day.

Shigure: Why should I waste this beautiful face and figure on something I shouldn't do when my special talent is writing about sex?

Yuki: Because I could show you some new things to put in your novels.

Shigure: Tooshei.

Yuki: I know some things that could rock your world that they don't even have names for yet.

Shigure: Idon't know how to say that french word. Fascinating.

Yuki: Hmm... Well your not French.

Shigure: I'm just a perverted bisexual man.

Yuki: Heck yes.

Yuki: Hey I got these fake antlers for Haru just so he can have a reason to say he's horny in public.

Shigure: You bringing them tomorrow?

Yuki: I dont know... I may give them to him tonight.

Yuki: So I'm sorry if you wanted to wear them.

Shigure: Awww man... I was gonna wear them!

Yuki: Yeah but Haru asked for them.

Shigure: So?

Yuki: So I was to obey his orders that's what Shigure said.

Shigure: What?

Shigure: When did I say that?

Yuki: He said that I was Haru's tonight and that comes with obeying his orders..

Shigure: You mean me?

Shigure: I'm Shigure.

Shigure: Did you forget, poor Yuki?

Yuki: No. But I might as well get ready for all this soreness... Bye. (Yuki leaves)

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a/n 

Hey! Hoped you like this REALLY long chapter! If any of y'all have any ideas who should be with who(gay i mean)give me the ideas in reviews! please R&R!

- Volcan 300


	3. Ayame Kidnaps Kyo

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 3 - Ayame Kidnaps Kyo

Hey, so sorry for the late chapter! I meant for this chapter to be out last sunday but we moved monday or tuesday. And I'm on my dad's laptop right now. I wish my dad would hurry up & set up the computer! I missed InuYasha tuesday so that made me upset. (tear, tear) Well anyways, let's get on with the story.

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THANK YOU LIST! 

Ferdinandstrat - Thanxz! You shall see what I have in store for Kyo and Haru! If you have anymore ideas then please share!

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**_thoughts_** (actions) 

Today's story starts with Ayame following Kyo around at school. Bugging the hell out of Kyo. Let's again go to FWC with the two of them...

a/n: Me and Paige are in FWC together. But we are NOT gay!

Kyo: I'm gonna die!

Ayame: Why is that, Kyonkitchi? (a/n: I hope that's how you spell it!)

Kyo: Because of this stupid lock down, I'm stuck in here with you! Of all people! I'd rather be stuck with that damn rat, Yuki!

Aaya: Ha ha! Evil is coming!

Kyo: YOU'RE THE EVIL!

Aaya: (puts on his detective hat) Ha ha, don't be sneaky, Kyonkitchi.

Kyo: What the crap is with that hat? And who said you could call me 'Kyonkitchi', huh?

Aaya: Hehe, pickles.

Kyo: Don't pull any of that gay crap, Ayame!

Aaya: (sweat drop) Another subject.

Kyo: What do you mean?

Aaya: Fashion!

Kyo: Since when did I care bout fashion?

Aaya: Now, Kyonkitchi.

Kyo: What?

Aaya: You need a new wardrobe! (pulls out a shirt with hearts on it) I love it, don't you?

Kyo: That's not even like me! (evil eyes)

Aaya: Of course it is, Kyonkitchi!

Kyo: (more evil eyes) I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL ME THAT!

Aaya: Calm down, Kyonkitchi.

Kyo: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Aaya: Keep your pants on. Ohhh! They're on the floor! You're a cat!

Kyo: (turned into a cat) MEOW! HISS!

Aaya: Well, we gotta go, Kyonkitchi.

Kyo: DIE!

Aaya: CALM DOWN!

Kyo: HISS! (turns back into his normal self)

Luckily, the teacher wasn't in there when he turned back into a human.

Aaya: Hurry up and get your clothes back on, Kyonkitchi!

Kyo: (getting his clothes on) What for?

Aaya: So we can go SHOPPING!

Kyo: I'd rather suffer through algebra than going to shopping with you!

Aaya: (as soon as Kyo got his clothes on, he started pulling Kyo to the door) Let's go! (brightly smiling)

Kyo: (screaming) SOME BODY SAVE ME!

Uo-chan: (laughing her head off) HA HA HA!**You** of all people are yelling for help, orange top? That's histerical! HA HA HA HA!

Tohru: We should help him, shouldn't we?

Yuki: Why should we bother to save that stupid cat?

Hana-chan: I sense strange waves around both of them. (everyone is inching away from Hana-chan)

Meanwhile... Ayame is still dragging Kyo all the way to the mall. Little did Kyo know what Ayame had in store for him.

Aaya: La La La La! I love to go shopping!

Kyo: (not even trying to scream) Someone... Please help... Me... Oh, why should I even bother yelling for help?

Aaya: Here we are! (Finally let's Kyo go. Kyo stands up)

Kyo: YOU DRAGGED ME ALL THE WAY TO YOUR STORE? YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO THE MALL! YOUR STORE ISN'TEVEN AT THE MALL!

Aaya: Stop yelling, Kyonkitchi. But my store is across from the mall.

Kyo: You better not pull any of that gay crap on me like you did with that damn rat!

Aaya: Now why would I do that to you? Hmm? (smiles brightly as usual)

Kyo: Excately HOW long are you planning to keep me here?

Aaya: A week. (a/n: Lol Aaya! Always straight foward. Well most of the time)

Kyo: A WEEK? YOU EXPECT ME TO STAY HERE IN A WEEK?

Aaya: Yupe.

Kyo: YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! (starts running)

Aaya: (sighs and knocks out Kyo)

Kyo: (comes to) Uh... Where am I? And why does my head hurt so much? (looks around)

Aaya: You're at my store, Kyonkitchi! (right in his face)

Kyo: YOU AGAIN? (tries to get out but is tied against a chair) WHAT THE---?

Aaya: I made sure you couldn't get out. (smiles)

Kyo: NOT AGAIN! (starts kicking asAaya forces Kyo in watching these sick gay crap on the T.V.)

Back at Shigure's house. We find the others sitting around having a nice relaxing dinner.

Tohru: I wonder what ever happened to Kyo.

Yuki: He's so stupid that he probly got himself stuck in some place.

Shigure: Now, now, Yuki-kun, let's not be like that. (quietly) Even though he is stupid...

Tohru: Oh! I hope he's alright! (stands up) I know! I'll go find him!

Yuki: What's the point? He's over at Ayame's house.

Shigure: He's at Aaya's? I thought he hated Aaya.

Yuki: Ayame dragged Kyo away somewhere.

Shigure: You don't think he's showing him...

Yuki: Big chance, yes.

Shigure: Well, we can all say he **won't** be same anymore.

Tohru: (sits back down) What do you mean?

Shigure: You don't want to know.

One week later, Kyo slowly walks into Shigure's house. Insideare Haru, Shigure, Yuki, Tohru, Uo-chan, Hana-chan, and Momiji.

Tohru: You're home! Welcome back!

Shigure: So, still straight, are we, Kyo?

Kyo: (evil glares Shigure) NO THANKS TO HIS (indecating Yuki) BROTHER, I'M NOW OFFICIALLY GAY!

Shigure: Did he show you the tape?

Kyo: He showed me ALL the tapes!

Shigure That was more than I suspected Aaya to show you. You were probly a tough nut to crack, Kyo-kun.

Kyo: (still evil glaring Shigure) He taped my eyes open! So now my eyes AND my ass hurts!

Haru: (jumps to the chance) This means that now, I can easily ask you out!

Everyone but Haru: What?

Haru: I've always been to shy to ask you out, Kyo-kun! I didn't think you were gay till now! This is perfect!

Uo-chan: You know, I actually thought that orange top here would be the last one to be gay. You proved me wrong.

Kyo: I really wished Ayame didn't show me the tapes!

Haru: (getting close to Kyo) Why is that, Love?

Kyo: (gives him a weird look) Because of this!

Haru: (takes Kyo's hand into his) But I love you!

Kyo: You're sounding like Kagura before she turned into a lesbian!

Haru: Let's go to the movies! Then you can decide if you love me or not.

Kyo: (makes an annoyed looked) Ugh... Well, I'm already gay. So, let's get on with it before you drag me in bed.

Haru: YAY! Let's go right now! (drags Kyo)

Kyo: (sarcastically) WHOOT!

* * *

a/n:

Hello again! Liked this chapter? Again, sorry for the late chapter! I have a question for all y'all! Do y'all think that Tohru and Uo-chan should get together? Shigure and Ritsu? Tohru and Kagura? Kagura and Rin? Kagura and Kisa? Tohru and Rin? Tohru and Kisa? I'm all confused with who should be with who! Well R&R! Thanxz!

- Volcan 300


	4. Secrets Revealed

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 4 - Secrets Revealed

Yo. Just got back from swim practice and now I'm eating brown rice with chicken. I'm bored so I decided I'll go ahead and write this chapter. When I looked over the first two chapters, I realized that I spelt Ayame's name wrong. I spelt it Ayaa instead of Aaya. Horrible isn't it?

* * *

THANK YOU LIST! 

I got alot of reviews! (laughs)

gimcrak -Thanxz for the review! I am glad you like it and that you thought it was funny!

KounPanda - Thanxz! I have given enough thought about this chapter more than my other stories' chapters. Maybe they will be the funniest pairing. It depends if I can think of anything to go with them.

Darkfire1313 - Thanxz! Please don't die of choking! Especially if you try to eat an apple& baby orangewhole. Bad experience... I was home all alone when it happened.

FINNAxSOHMA - (laughs) It was very late when I wrote the chapter. Well, I had to make up something there when no one was really Haru at school. (me, Paige, and Desiree were actually acting out as Shigure, Ayame, and Yuki)

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions) 

Today was just a normal gay day for the zodiacs, or so they thought... Surprisingly, they saw Kagura's mom and Isuzu herself! What a shock! Since school didn't start till another 30 minutes, they decided to go over to talk to Isuzu.

Tohru: Oh, Isuzu-chan!

Yuki: You call her "Isuzu-chan" now? What happened to the "-san"?

Tohru: Ah... (blushes)

Isuzu: Back off, Yuki.

Yuki: (attitude voice) Well I'm so sorry!

Isuzu: (glares at Yuki)

Momiji: Isuzu, you said you found a girl you love. Who is it? Is she here? (looks around)

Isuzu: Yes, she is here.

Haru: (holding Kyo who is making a face) So do we get to meet this girl?

a/n: Apparently Kyo still thinks everything that is gay is still gross.

Isuzu: I believe you have already met her. (getting a step closer to Tohru)

Kyo: We have? Who?

Uo-chan: Hey, and why is it that you decided to go to this school?

Isuzu: I think you all know who this girl is. And isn't it obvious that I'm only going to this school because my girl is here.

Uo-chan: Hey Prince, how many are left ungay anyways? I lost track.

Yuki: Um... Let's see... There's Hatori, Kureno,andRitsu. Maybe Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa. I don't know about them.

Uo-chan: Not that many if you ask me.

Kyo: We didn't, Yankee.

Uo-chan: You wanna fight, Orange top?

Haru: (getting between the two) Uo-chan, Let's not provoke Kyon-kyon. Kyon-kyon, you can fight with me tonight.

Uo-chan: I don't even want to know what you two do in bed together... (makes a disgusted look)

Kyo: (tries to get past Haru) Well I bet I can fuck somebody better than you can, Yankee.

Uo-chan: How much you wanna bet on that, Orange top?

Kyo: Loser gets to be the winner's slave forever. To make it in simpler words for you to understand, Yankee, the loser has to do everything what the winner tells them to do.

Uo-chan: I know what slave means, Baka! I better start making a list of thingsthat need to be done.

Kyo: Very funny, Yankee.

Haru: (shakes his head) Too late... He's provoked enough...

Yuki: You're both idiots. (shaking his head with a hand on his head)

Uo-chan: I can fuck someone better than you!

Kyo: With Kagura?

Uo-chan: IF I do Kagura, you have to do Prince Charming.

Kyo: No way in hell!

Uo-chan: Then I guess I win, Orange top.

Kyo: I'm not losing this bet to you, Yankee. Fine, I'll do that damn rat!

Yuki: Wait, don't I get a say on this?

Haru: Apparently not.

The bell rings. Everyone heads for class. But Isuzu didn't go. Instead, she stayed to talk to Tohru more.

Haru: See you after class, Love.

Kyo: Yea, whatever.

Isuzu: Tohru, let's talk more.

Tohru: Uh... What about our class?

Isuzu: Shh... (gets closer) We don't have to worry about that. Come on, let's go in here. (she leads Tohru to a closet)

Back to the classroom, the teacher was getting pissed because Isuzu and Tohru decided to skip class.

Ms. Mayu: (a/n: I don't remember her last name) Ugh... Does anyone know where Ms. Honda or Ms. Sohma are?

Class: No, Ms. Mayu.

Ms. Mayu: (sighs and goes back teaching her class) Yuki, answer this please.

Yuki: The answer is 2.

Ms. Mayu: How'd you get that?

Yuki: I did this, (starts talking all mathmatical)

Two teens ran in the classroom with a sick expression on their face.

Ms. Mayu: So, you two decided to join my class, Mr. Niiro Takiri and Ms. Kisa Fafner? (a/n: Kisa Fafner and Niiro Takiri are my two main characters in my manga book)

Niiro: That was horrible what we saw!

Ms. Mayu: What was it?

Kisa: There were... Two girls... (makes a disgusted look) making out in the closet!

Ms. Mayu: WHAT?

Niiro: See for yourself! (leads everyone to the closet)

Everyone is surrounding the closet door. Niiro slowly edges to the door to open it. Then he opens the door, where Tohru and Isuzu are making out!

Boy: HOLY CRAP!

Girl: EWW!

Yuki: WHAT THE SHIT?

Isuzu and Tohru stop.

Tohru: Uh... Um... (blushes)

Isuzu: You mean you didn't know that Tohru was my girl? You're stupid, Yuki.

Momiji: Tohru? You're Isuzu's new lover?

Tohru: Ah... Yes... (blushes more)

Haru: You know, I actually thought they wouldn't be that perfect together. Guess I'm wrong.

Yuki: Then I guess you don't know how many times you've been wrong.

Haru: Probly don't.

Yuki: Well, there's (starts naming all these dates)

Kyo: Can I go home now?

Ms. Mayu: (looks at her watch) Sorry but you're going to have to wait another 30 min.

Kyo: Dammit.

Ms. Mayu: You do know that we have a test tomorrow, right Orang top? If you fail, you're gonna dye your hair black.

Kyo: No way in hell.

Finally the bell rings. Everyone goes home. Yuki is the first to enter Shigure's house, only to find Shigure with... RITSU!

Yuki: (shocked) What the hell is going on here?

Shigure: Crap! Yuki... Welcome back!

Ritsu: (screaming at the top of his lungs) I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I WON'T BE BURDEN ANYMORE! I'LL LEAVE! ( almost gets to the door but runs into everybody else)

Yuki: How dare you fooly cooly with Ritsu! ( slaps Shigure across the face)

Shigure: I was not fooly coolying with Ritsu! (puts a hand over the spot Yuki hit him)

Yuki: Yes you were!

Shigure: Ok, so I was fooly coolying with Ritsu! I'm sorry!

Yuki: How long was this going on?

Shigure: ...6 months...

Yuki slaps Shigure across the face again.

Shigure: Oww! (Yuki stomps away) Hey, where did Ritsu go? (looks around)

Kyo: He's on the roof.

Shigure: Ok. (walks out there with everyone except Yuki following him)

a/n: I got this next part out of Fruits Basket vol. 8. I did change a few wording though.

Ritsu: (on the roof) Oh... God, Buddha... My sins will never be forgiven..

Tohru: (freaking out) Ritchan-san! Watch out!

Ritsu: Yuki-kun, I know an apology isn't enough... But I'm sorry for fooly coolying with Shigure. I am embarrassed because of this.

Tohru: (still freaking out) It's ok, Ritchan-san!

Shigure: Tohru-kun... I don't think you're helping...

Ritsu: (in tears) Aahh! Why do I always, always cause trouble to everyone around me? I'm so **shameless**, the way I burden everyone!

Shigure: Well, yes, when you act like this you certainly are...

Ritsu: Why was someone such as I given life in this world? Maybe... Maybe it would be better for everyone if I cut short myexistence... But no! I don't even have the courage for **that**. That's right. I serve no purpose in life, But when it comes to ending it, I am doubly **shameless**. **I hate myself!** OH! (on his knees) Someone like me deserves to be **punished**. Only **divine punishment** will do!

Shigure: Ritchan, c'mon.

Tohru: Don't say that! You don't have to be courageous! What's wrong with being shameless? Sometimes living can be hard, but it's only because we're alive that we can make each other... Laugh, cry... Be happy! If that's not a reason for being born in this world, I don't know what is!

Ritsu: Ah...! (falls off the roof)

Tohru: ...! (covers mouth and looks away)

Shigure, Kyo, and Tohru: ... (Ritsu is holding on to the end of the roof. Then jumps back on it)

Tohru: (shocked) Eh!

Ritsu: (holding his ankle and sobbing) I twisted my ankle...

Tohru: Oh...

Shigure: You really **are** shameless. **Seriously.**

After getting Ritsu down from the roof, Hatori showed up to bandage Ritsu's twisted ankle.

Ritsu: (head in his hands crying) I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hatori-niisan.

Shigure: (reading a book) You know, stuff happens.

Ritsu: (hopping on one foot) Shi-Shigure-niisan, if it's not too much trouble... Would it be all right for me to stay just one more night...?

Shigure: Now, this **is** unusual. I don't think I've ever seen you so asseritve.

Ritsu: Y-yes, Um... I just... wanted to ask...

Kyo: (comes back from the bathroom) What the hell are Ritsu and Hatori still doing here?

Tohru: Welcome back!

Ritsu: (shocked and crying) I'm-I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

* * *

a/n: 

Sorry that it's been awhile! This is probly the only time I'll use book reference. I just loved that part & thought it would be funny to add that. Well, if you have any ideas for the single ungay zodiacs to turn them gay, please share in a review! & who they should be paired with! Thanxz! R&R!

Volcan 300


	5. The Contest

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 5 - The Contest

Hey. Got nothing better to do. So, I decided I'll write this chapter.

* * *

THANK YOU LIST!

KounPanda - (laughs) I've done a good thing once in my life! According to Kyo, he's gay. I think he's lying.

Cats Go Meow - Yay! I've done two good things today! (laughs) I've been a blonde all today. I'm a brunette. I got intertained by a locker door for over 10 min.

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions)

Today is the day when Uo-chan and Kyo have their contest. About sex... Who new they would ever have a contest bout sex?

Haru: I have a question.

Kyo: What is it?

Haru: So, are you and Uo-chan gonna be in the same room? Having sex with Kagura and Yuki?

Kyo: What?

Uo-chan: Are you to embarrassed to lemme see that lil guy that's attached to you?

Kyo: No!

Uo-chan: Yes, Haru. We are.

Haru: That's kinda... (shudders) A very weird sight to see...

The bell rings for their last class. Yuki, Tohru, Uo-chan, Hana-chan, and Kyo walk into their Algebra class, while Momiji and Haru go to their English class. Isuzu walks into her science class.

Yuki: I can't believe I have to sleep with that stupid cat.

Tohru: But aren't you gay?

Yuki: Not gay enough to sleep with that stupid cat.

Tohru: Oh. (to herself) So that means I have to make three extra plates...

Yuki: What?

Tohru: Well there's me, you, Shigure-san, and Kyo-kun. The extra plates are for Isuzu-chan, Uo-chan, and Ritchan-san.

Yuki: Oh.

Ms. Mayu: (passed out all the tests) Begin your test.

Uo-chan: Ready to lose, orange top?

Kyo: I'm not gonna lose, Yankee! You're the one whose gonna lose!

Uo-chan: Keep telling yourself that, Orange top.

Kyo: (ticked) Very funny, Yankee.

Ms. Mayu: Kyo, since your mouth is already open, why don't you either keep it open and take a zero, then dye your hair black or you can close it and finish your test.

Kyo: (grumbles and works on his test)

Uo-chan: (snickering)

Ms. Mayu: You too, Uotani. If you keep it up, I might actually make you dye your hair black.

Uo-chan: (glares at her then goes back to her test)

The test is now over, along with 7th period. The gang started to head for Shigure's house. About half way there, two young pre-teens stood before them.

Kisa: Onee-chan! (runs and hugs Tohru)

Tohru: Little Kisa! (hugs her back)

Hiro: Great, it's the stupid woman again.

Isuzu: Back off, Hiro! (making a fist)

Hiro: (wide eyed) S-sorry, Rin!

They all start walking to Shigure's house again.

Kisa: Onee-chan, Y-you're Isuzu-kun's new lover?

Tohru: Yes.

Kisa: If you and Isuzu-kun get married, then me and you will be related!

Hiro: (mutters) Stupid woman...

Momiji: That's not nice, Hiro!

Hiro: Who said I was nice?

Kisa: But I thought you were, Hiro-kun!

Hiro: ...! (blushes) (a/n: remember, Momiji, Kisa, and Hiro aren't gay yet)

Kyo: (grinning. saying in a mocking voice) Yea, Hiro-kun, I thought you were nice.

Hiro: (blushing more) Shut up, Gay boy!

Momiji: Hiro, don't you know name calling isn't gonna do anything?

Hiro: SHUT UP! (runs off ahead)

Kisa: Hiro... kun...?

Momiji: He's just being a little bastard.

Everyone looks shocked for Momiji's sudden language.

Haru: (still shocked) When did you learn that new word, Momiji?

Momiji: Tori-san. He says that Aaya and Hiro are bastards.

Yuki: That's great...

Kyo:(sarcastically) You can always trust Hatori to teach Momiji new words...

That group finally makes it to Shigure's house. The house iscompletely destroyed.

Kyo & Yuki: Kagura... (shudders)

Tohru: Eh...!

Kyo catiously opens the door. Well, he actually didn't have to since there wasn't a door anymore.

Uo-chan: So this Kaguraperson did all this?

Haru: Looks like it.

Uo-chan: (horrible image in her mind) Well, I can just imagine what tonight will be like...

Kyo: (tip toeing in the house to his room)

Yuki: Hey, you stupid cat, do you still think Kagura likes you? Remember, she's a lesbo.

Kyo: PHEW! I thought I was a gonner!

Kagura: (runs up and punches Kyo's face) TAKE THAT!

Kyo: (falls back) WHAT WAS THAT FOR, DAMMIT?

Kagura: (smiles sweetly) It was a welcome home greeting, Kyo-kun!

Kyo: WELL DON'T DO IT ANYMORE!

Shigure: (walks in, in tears) My house... (tear, tear)

Yuki: Kagura, this is Arisa Uotani. The girl you will be fucking up all tonight. (indecating Uo-chan)

Kagura: This is her, Yun-yun? (walks over to Uo-chan) My name is Kagura Sohma! (holds out a hand smiling sweetly)

Uo-chan: (hesitant at first. curious if Kagura would do that to her, what she did to Kyo but shakes her hand)

Tohru: I better go make the dinner! (leaves for the kitchen, which is trashed) I better clean up this mess before I fix dinner. (starts cleaning)

Haru: I have a new question.

Uo-chan: What is it?

Haru: Even if you two are in the same room, how will you know who wins?

Kyo/Uo-chan: Never thought of that..

Yuki: Maybe you should get somebody with a sick mind to watch us.

Shigure: But where do we find a person who does that?

Everyone looks at Shigure.

Shigure: No. You can't expect me to stay up all night!

Yuki: (puppy dog face) Please Shigure? ( batting his eyes)

Shigure: Oh, alright!

Everyone: YAY!

Later that night after eating dinner, everyone left for bed. Since Kyo's room has less stuff than Yuki's, they all got their beds ready. (Shigure's room was out of the question) Things could be heard outside of Tohru's and Kyo's room... Pleasure noises. It's now like 5 in the morning.

Shigure: O.O I-I'm gonna go get me something to drink...

No one was paying him any attention. Only the person they were doing. Surprisingly, Yuki was loving every move Kyo made on him... Two hours have past, Tohru goes down stairs to start her daily rutine. Shigure is there staring wide eyed out in space.

Tohru: Shi-Shigure-san? Are you ok?

Shigure: (jumps) ACK! NO I'M NOT OK! I JUST SAW WHO KNOWS HOW LONG OF KYO GIVING YUKI LOTS OF PLEASURE! (shudders) It was horrible.. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK IN THERE! (grabbing both of Tohru's shoulders shaking her)

Tohru: AAHHH! (dizzy eyes)

Isuzu: (sees this and jump kicks Shigure) Stay off of my woman, Gure-nii!

Shigure: (crying in pain) OOOWWWWW!

During breakfast Shigure had a hard time looking at anybody correctly. So he just kept his mouth shut and looking at his food.

Kyo: Alright, Shigure, who won?

Shigure: Huh?

Uo-chan: You know, the contest! So who won?

Kyo: Out with it, already, dammit!

Shigure: (hesitant at first) ...I think that...

Uo-chan/Kyo: What?

Shigure: That Kyo and Yuki wins... (shudders) That was not right they way you did it, Kyon-kyon. You've proven yourself in becoming gay! (claps) Yuki is now your partner!

Yuki: (blushes) ...

Kyo: (blushes too) Uh... Well, anyways, I better start making that list for you to do, Yankee! (laughing)

Uo-chan: Damn you!

* * *

A/n:

Hello once again. Again, if you have any ideas for the ungay zodiac (kisa, hiro, momiji, & kureno) please share! I give open arms to all your ideas! I'm desperate! Well, please R&R! Thanxz!

Volcan 300


	6. A Day In Dr Sea Horse's Shoes

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 6 - A Day In Dr. Sea Horse's Shoes

Hey, so sorry it's been at least two weeks. I had to think super hard for this chapter since I don't really know that much bout Kureno. I had to look back at my books I had with him in it and read it all over again. Just to tell you now, all these products that are named do not belong to me. They belong to the people who made them long ago before I was even born.

* * *

THANK YOU LIST! 

KounPanda - Thank you for the tip for chapter 4! I wentback to make sure it was true in the book. You were right! So I changed it to say 'Kagura's mom'.

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions) 

Today we find Hatori walking down the sidewalk. All the way to the bookstore. His car was in the shop since the last incident when he let Ayame borrow his car.

Hatori: **_I can't believe I actually trusted him with my car... How can he easily wreck a car less than a day? _**(sighs)

Hatori finally reached his destination, the bookstore. He walked inside. There, Ms. Maya awaited for him so that he could pick up his book.

Ms. Maya: Welcome, Hatori. You're wearing a suit in the summer?

Hatori: Hello. Is my book ready?

Ms. Maya: Yes, here it is. (hands Hatori his pre-ordered book)

Hatori: Thank you, Maya. I guess I'll be on my way. Still have to go grocery shopping...

Ms. Maya: Is your car parked a few blocks from here? (looks outside for it)

Hatori: No. Stupid Ayame wrecked my car. So it's in the shop.

Ms. Maya: Oh. But how are you going to carry all your groceries if you don't have a car?

Hatori: Oh, shoot Ayame. Damn him... (in his head, he's killing Ayame over and over) I hope he burns in a brain firey pits of hell!

Ms. Maya: That's a lot of strong words, Hatori. Never knew you could use such strong words.

Hatori: (realizes what he just said) Ah... I'll just find a taxi maybe or get someone to pick me up. **_But I'm pretty sure I'm the only who owns a car..._**

Ms. Maya: (jumping at the chance to get close to Hatori) I could pick you up after you're done shopping!

Hatori: Are you sure? What about the bookstore? Who'll watch it?

Ms. Maya: No one hardly comes, so I can just close it early.

Hatori: I'll call you if I need a ride.

Ms. Maya: Alright. Do you know my number?

Hatori: Yes. Well, good bye.

Ms. Maya: Bye. (watches him leave. sighs)

Hatori finally makes it to the small convient store. He walks and grabs a basket. Hatori started at the medicine section. He grabbed some Advil, Benodryle, Band-Aids, ointment, a couple of aces for elbows, knees, hands, thumb,and ankle, and a few other things. Then, he finally made it the hair products. He grabbed his Aussie shampoo and conditioner. After that, he walked over to food products.

Hatori: (walking down an isle) What is this? The junk food galore? (picks up a pack of Nutty Butty's and adds it to his basket) Whatever happened in putting Mountain Dews in those 12 packs? I cant carry a 24 pack and my basket!

He resolved this problem by grabbing the 6 bottles instead. Hatori then walked down the chip isle. Who knew Hatori really loved junk food? Well, he grabbed a bag of Ruffles and Cheetos. Hatori almost made it out of that isle but then he bumped into someone. Someone he only heard of. Not seen

Hatori: Oops. Sorry I didn't see you there. (turns around to see Kureno looking at all of his chip bags on the floor) Kureno?

Kureno: My chips... (starts picking them up. finally looks up at Haroti) Oh! I didn't know you went to this store too, Hatori.

Hatori: Only when I'm out of stuff. I never saw you out of Akito's clutches before.

Kureno: This is the first time, actually. Finally getting the freshoutside air since I was 16! (takes a deep breath then exhales it)

Hatori: You're 26 and this is your first time in a convient store? That's sad, Kureno. Here's a pointer for you, there are baskets over there for you. (points at the basket next to the door)

Kureno: Thank you, Hatori. (bows which makes him drop all of his chips again) Dang it! (bends down to grab all his chips again)

Hatori: Lemme help. (bends down to help him. they both touch hands when they go after the same bag making both men blush a little) There you go... **_Man, he's fine!_**

Kureno: Ah... Thank you again, Hatori. (starts walking toward the baskets)

Hatori: **_Damn, he's got a fine ass too!_** Hey, Kureno, do you havea car?

Kureno: Nope. Sorry, what happened to yours?

Hatori: (killing Ayame over and over again in his head) Damn Ayame wrecked my car! (shaking his fist)

Kureno: How many cars has he wrecked?

Hatori: One to many. I guess I'll just call Maya to come pick me up... (looking some what depressed)

Kureno: Who's Maya? Your girlfriend? (afraid that Hatori will say 'Yes')

Hatori: No, just a girl I went to school with.

Kureno: (sighs in relief)

Hatori: Kureno, there's something I wanted to ask you.

Kureno: What is it?

Hatori: Sometime later, we are having a party at Shigure's house. Wanna come?

Kureno: I don't think that Akito will approve...

Hatori: I can sneak you out of there.

Kureno: Ok. Then I'll come!

Hatori: Then I'll see you later. (walks away)

Kureno: (squeals in shear joy) I get to go on a date with Hatori! Wait, is this truely meant to be a date?

Hatori: (has his cell phone out calling Maya) Hey, Maya, can you come get me? Ok, I'll be waiting outside.

Maya finally arrived and drove Hatori over to Shigure's house, then to his.

Hatori: Thank you, Maya.

Maya: It's not a problem Hatori. (she watches Hatori leave then squeals in shear joy) I actually drove Hatori home! (drives away)

* * *

a/n:

Hello once again. And again, I don't own those products. They were made before I was even born I believe. Sorry if that's not how Kureno acts! But he hardly shows up in Fruits Basket, so it is kinda hard to figure out how he acts. Any ideas if Momiji & Hiro should be together? Or who Kisa should be paired up with? I think they are the only ones left ungay. R&R! Thanxz!

Volcan 300


	7. The Party part 1 I guess

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 7 - The Party (part 1 I guess)

Happy Valentines Day. It's the day where people trampleme & slam me into lockers more and more. That's the "normal" life of me if you call it normal. And today I got dissed by this elderly lady. That's kinda sad I know.

* * *

No thank you list this chapter... (tear, tear) But here's a disclaimer instead.  
Disclaimer: No matter how many times I wish, I shall never own Fruits Basket... But I do own my manga Fatal Rose. So don't steal any of my people off of it!

* * *

**_thoughts_** (action)

Later that night, we find everybody enjoying there time at Shigure's house party. Music blarring. Kareoke. Dance floor. Saki. You name it. He had it. Finally, Hatori made it with Kureno. He also brought Kana for no apperant reason.

Shigure: So you finally made it, eh, Hatori?

Ayame: Tori-san! (runs over to Hatori)

Hatori: Stay away, Ayame! (pushes him away)

Aaya: (teary eyed) Do you not love me, Tori-san?

Hatori: Nope.

Shigure: (sees that Ayame is crying) There, there, Aaya. I think he still likes Kana. Why don't we sing Hatori our song we made up.

Aaya: (cheery) Ok!

Shigure: Ok, Hatori, you're Ken. I'm Garret. Aaya is Raoul. And Kana is Barbie. But first, we need to drink. (both Shigure and Ayame drink down their saki)

Hatori: Ok...?

Aaya: Hiya Garret! (both on stage)

Shigure: Hey Raoul!

Aaya: Wanna go for a ride?

Shigure: On what?

Aaya: On this! (Shigure falls down)

Shigure: (music comes on & they sing) Barbie is a bitch, she is just a witch.

Aaya: I really hate her, why does Ken date her?

Shigure: Ken is such a man, I'd do all I can. (falls down again) Scr-- (voice fades off)

Aaya: Just to do him.

Aaya/Shigure: We just wanna screw him!

Aaya: (normal voice) She's such a bitch, I'm gonna scratch her eyes out.

Everyone else: OOOOO!

Shigure: I have dreamed about Ken being inside my den. And we'd hold and we'd kiss like we're sweat hearts.

Aaya: (back to singing voice) But that Barbie's a slut! With her cute lil butt! And I guess Ken likes boobs made of fake parts.

Shigure: And I cry everyday, cause straight up that bitch is in my way! Ooo oo ooo. Barbie is a bitch, she is just a witch.

Aaya: I really hate her, why does Ken date her?

Shigure: Ken is such a man, I'd do all I can.

Aaya: Just to do him, we wanna screw him! When I see her, I will knee her.

Shigure: Ooo oo ooo

Aaya: I will punch her and I'll crunch her!

Shigure: Ooo oo oooooo! Oh yes!

Aaya: Hey Garret!

Shigure: What Raoul?

Aaya: Look who's over there. (points at Kana)

Shigure: Well if it isn't Barbie with oh Ken and that stupid California dream van!

Aaya: (jumps off stage with Shigure heading for Kana) Hey Barbie! It's us!

Shigure: Come over here and look! Right here! Can you hear me? (saying other words fast but then right hooks Kana. Ayame beating Kana up too)

Everyone: OOOOHHHHHH! (cringe at the sight)

Aaya: Take that you lil hooker!

Shigure: You bitch!

Aaya: SLUT!

Hatori: (holding Ayame back now) STOP THAT! Leave her alone! I don't love her!

Shigure: Oops... (sweat drop) Let's get the hell out of here!

Tohru: Are you ok, Kana-san?

Kana: I think I'll be fine...

Tohru: That's good.

Yuki: I think Shigure and Ayame just had too much to drink... (sighs) Idiots...

Kisa: Something's wrong with Momiji...

Kyo: Don't tell me he fell in the saki bucket again...

Kisa: Then I won't.

Kyo: Dammit! Momiji, get out of there!

Momiji: No way! (getting drunk by the second)

Tohru: Uo-chan, you should sing!

Uo-chan: You really think so?

Tohru: Yes! Deffinately!

Uo-chan: Ok... But I can't sing...

Kyo: Just sing cause we already know you sound like a cat in a blender.

Uo-chan: NOW WAY IN HELL I DO!

Kyo: You're just scared!

Uo-chan: FINE THEN! I'LL DO IT! (little did Uo-chan know that Kyo messed with the kareoke machine to play "Ugly Girl")

Kyo: (goes up there with Uo-chan) Wanna go for a ride?

Uo-chan: Sure, Ken!

Kyo: Well, forget it!

Uo-chan: I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl. Is that I have it, I should just fag it. I get beat everywhere, unwanted facial hair. I am a relation, to Frankensteins creation.

Kyo: You're so ugly, you disgust me. (long silence)

Uo-chan: I'm a black homie girl, all alone in the world. I'm a stack as a fart, then a lanky.

Kyo: You're a dog and a troll. Did you get hit by a train? Don't go near, your breathe is stanky.

Uo-chan: Don't get touched, I'm afraid. Cause God said I'm in a sore. Woo oo ooo. I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl. Is that I have it, I should fag it. I get beat everywhere, unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankensteins creation.

Kyo: You're so ugly, you disgust me.

Uo-chan: Boo hoo hoo yea.

Kyo: You're so ugly, you disgust me.

Uo-chan: Ooo oo oooo. Oh let's go out and have some fun!

Kyo: I'm sorry but you're to damn ugly.

Uo-chan: Oh, screw you, Ken! (punches Kyo in the mouth, which makes him fall off)

Kyo: AUGH!

Uo-chan: (jumps Kyo, then punches him) Why did you screw up the machine to make me sing that song, huh Kyo?

Kyo: (all beaten up and bloody) Thought it was funny.

Uo-chan: You think this is funny? (kicks his penis)

Kyo: AUGH! (screams in pain. now in fetal position)

Haru: Poor Kyo... (walks over and holds Kyo)

Shigure: I thought it was funny.

Kureno: You know... I did too.

Isuzu: You have evil minds.

Momiji: (gets on stage and clearly drunk) KISA, HIRO! DRINK THIS! (chugs saki down their throaght)

Hiro: (getting drunk) Wanna sing...? (hickups)

Kisa: (getting drunk too) Sure... Tarzan...

Hiro: Then let's go, Jane! (they get on stage)

Yuki: This isn't good...

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Guy from the music: Deep in the jungle, with the land of adventure, lives Tarzan.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: I am Jane and I like to ride an elephant.

Hiro: My name is Tarzan, I am jungle man.

Kisa: The treetop swing around jungle land.

Hiro: Come baby, come, I'll take you for a swing.

Kisa: Let's go, Honey, I'm tingling. Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. He's really cute, and his hair is long!

Kisa/Hiro: (duet) Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. So listen to the jungle song. Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Hiro: I am Tarzan from jungle, you can be my friend.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: I am Jane and I like to ride an elephant.

Hiro: When you touch me, I feel for need.

Kisa: I feel it too, when you're touching me.

Hiro: Come to my tree house, to my party.

Kisa: Yes, I'll go, if you carry me. Tarzan is handsome, full of surprises. He's really cute, and his hair is nice.

Kisa/Hiro: Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. So listen to the jungle song. Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Hiro: I am Tarzan from jungle, you can be my friend.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: I am Jane and I like to ride an elephant.

(music plays for a while)

Kisa: Yea!

Guy from music: Go shida! Get banana! Hey monkey, get funky!

(music plays for a while again)

Kisa: Swing along, Tarzan!

Guy from music: Go shida! Get banana! Hey monkey, get funky!

Hiro: When I am dancing, I feel for king.

Kisa: Why do you keep ignoring me?

Hiro: Tarzan is here, come kiss me, baby.

Kisa: Ootchi Kootchi, kiss me tenderly.

Hiro: Yea.

Kisa: Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong.

Hiro: Me Tarzan.

Kisa: He's really cute, and his hair is long.

Hiro: Long, yea.

Kisa: Tarzan is handsome, Tarzan is strong. So listen to the jungle song.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Hiro: I am Tarzan from jungle, you can be my friend.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: I am Jane and I like to ride an elephant.

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: You go!

Guy from music: Go shido! Get banana! Hey monkey, get funky!

Kisa/Hiro: Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia, Ayeia yay.

Kisa: I am Jane and I like to ride an elephant.

Guy from music: And so, they got funky, but will Tarzan have Jane? Stay tuned...

* * *

a/n:

Hey, did you like the chapter? I guess I'll finish the rest later. And I still need help with who Kisa should be with and how Hiro and Momiji will get gay. Since they're the only men left in the zodiac. Should Akito be with Kisa since Akito'sa girl? In this chapter, I kinda thought it was funny how some of the zodiacs, when they drank the saki, they became straight of some sort. (laughs) Well R&R! Thanxz!

- Volcan 300

p.s. when uo-chan sang, I couldn't hear the words clearly, so i can't say for sure that's what she was singing. And no, I have nothing against Uo-chan or Hatori's ex-girlfriend Kana.


	8. The Party part 2

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 8 - The Party Part 2

So sorry y'all had to wait on me forever! I was grounded fora week & I had to find songs for the characters to sing! But here goes nothing!

Disclaimer: No I don't own any Furuba people! So get off my back!

* * *

THANK YOU LIST! 

Blackshiningdragon - FWC is a very stupid class I have to take. It stands for Family Work Connections. Pms is a different story. I'm guessing you are either a boy or a very young girl. You have to get the details from your mom. All I will say is that it's a thing girls get that last for a week. Thank God that I'm finish for the week! Too much info I know. And thank you for not thinking I'm a lesbo!

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions) .:sounds from songs or other things:.

It's now midnight and everybody is drunk as hell. Yuki was so drunk he kept hitting on Tohru. Isuzu didn't even go after him because of that. Instead, she kept hitting on Haru. Haru loved it.

Isuzu: Sing for me, sexy butt!

Haru: I can't sing!

Momiji: Oh, come on Haru! (drinks more saki) Zing!

Kyo: Momiji, you really should... cut... back... (faints)

Yuki: Who knew that stupid cat couldn't take as much saki as we can. Weakling... (faints)

Hiro: Are they dead?

Momiji: I don'tz know. (pokes them with a stick)

Shigure: Shouldn't we wake up Hatori? (pokes them with a stick too)

Haru: You think that's a wise choice? (sees that he's on the couch with both Kureno and Kana)

Shigure: I think it would be best to leave them there. Haru, wake them up with your singing!

Haru: I can't sing, sensei!

Shigure: So me teaching you to sing was wasted? I'm ashamed of you!

Haru: Fine then. (goes up on stage)

Tohru: I never knew Shigure-san taught Haru-san to sing.

Hiro: He didn't you moron.

Haru sang:

.:Miya-hee  
Mya-hoo  
Miya-ho  
Miya-haha:.

_Hello _on a cellphone_, greetings, it's  
me, an outlaw,  
I ask you, my love to accept  
happiness.  
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,  
I sent you a beep _.:cellphone signal:._,  
and I'm brave or strong,  
But you should know that I'm not  
asking for anything from you._

_You want to leave but you don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want don't want to take me.  
Your face and the love from the  
linden trees,  
And I remember your eyes._

_You want to leave but you don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want don't want to take me.  
Your face and the love from the  
linden trees.  
And I remember your eyes._

_I call you_ .:over the phone:._, to tell you  
what I feel right now,  
Hello, my love, it's me, your  
happiness.  
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,  
I sent you a beep_ .:cellphone signal:.  
_and I'm brave or strong,  
But you should know that I'm not  
asking for anything from you._

_You want to leave but you don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want don't want to take me.  
Your face and the love from the  
linden trees,  
And I remember your eyes._

.:Miya-hee  
Miya-hoo  
Miya-ho  
Miya-haha:.

_You want to leave but you don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want to take me, don't want  
don't want don't want to take me.  
Your face and the love from the  
linden trees,  
And I remember your eyes._

Haru got off the stage. Hatori and others woke up. Well, except the weaklings Yuki and Kyo... They slept like a baby.

Hatori: (gets up) What the hell happened? Oww... My head hurts... (puts a hand on his head)

Tohru: Well, Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun fainted, Haru-san sang, Momiji is drunk as ever, and you fell asleep on the couch with Kana and Kureno.

Hatori: Momiji, stop drinking. How the friggin heck did Kyo and Yuki faint?

Shigure: They couldn't hold +50 cups of saki in them.

Hatori: They're not suppose to drink anyways.

Shigure: So what? There a year younger than the age limit. Not like the cops to come over and arrest us because we gave them saki.

Hatori: Don't say it like that. Everytime yousay stuff like that, it happens.

Shigure: Oh, so I'm a bad luck charm?

Hatori: Yes. Now move bad luck charm.

Hiro: Oh... Burn!

Momiji: Tohru! ZING!

Tohru: I will do my best to impress you, Momiji-kun!

Momiji: YAY! (hick. drinks more)

Hatori: How many cups has he have?

Shigure: Oh... I'd say over 100.

Hatori: That's not good...

Tohru: (gets up there) Ok. Here I go!

_Young man, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town  
There's no need to be unhappy._

_Young man, there's a place you can go.  
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time._

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. _(Tohru didn't do the correct hand signs. instead, she made up some)  
_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A. _

_They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys..._

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A._

_You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,  
You can do whatever you feel..._

_Young man, are you listening to me?  
I said, young man, what do you want to be?  
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.  
But you got to know this one thing!_

_No man does it all by himself.  
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,  
And just go there, to the Y-M-C-A.  
I'm sure they can help you today._

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A._

_They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys..._

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A._

_You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,  
You can do whatever you feel..._

_Young man, I was once in your shoes.  
I said, I was down and out with the blues.  
I felt no man cared if I were alive.  
I felt the whole world was so jive..._

_That's when someone came up to me,  
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.  
There's a place there called the Y-M-C-A.  
They can start you back on your way._

_It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A._

_They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys.._

_Y-M-C-A... you'll fin it at the Y-M-C-A_

_Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.  
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground._

_Y-M-C-A... you'll find it at the Y-M-C-A._

_Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.  
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground._

_Y-M-C-A... just go to the Y-M-C-A._

_Young man, young man, are you listening to me?  
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?_

Tohru got off the stage. Kyo and Yuki finally woke up.

Kyo: What was that?

Yuki: Sounded like a cat stuck in an operating blender.

Kyo: HEY!

Hiro: That stupid woman didn't even know she was doing the wrong hand movements during the whole song!

Shigure: That sounded like an angel. (takes out ear plugs)

Hatori: Hey! Who said you could use my cotton balls for ear plugs?

Shigure: Why are you so mad, Hatori?

Hatori: Because I didn't think of it first!

Hiro: And your the smart one, Tori-san!

Yuki: I guess I'll sing.

Kyo: What? A girly song, girly boy?

Yuki: No. You'll see! (goes up on stage)

_Can't touch this.  
Can't touch this.  
Can't touch this.  
Can't touch this.  
Can't touch this._

_My, my, my music hits me so hard  
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"  
Thank you for blessing me  
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet  
It feels good, when you know you're down  
A super dope homeboy from Oaktown  
And I'm known as such  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch_

_I told you homeboy (Can't touch this)  
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (Can't touch this)  
Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)  
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (Can't touch this)_

_Fresh new kicks, advance  
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance  
So move outta your seat  
And get a fly girl and catch this beat  
While it's rolling, hold on  
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on  
Like that, like that  
Cold on a mission so fall them back  
Let 'em know, that you're too much  
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch_

_Yo, I told you (Can't touch this)  
Why you standing there, man? (Can't touch this)  
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (Can't touch this)_

_Give me a song, or rhythm  
Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em  
Now, they know  
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show  
That's hype, and tight  
Singers are sweating so pass a wipe  
Or a tape, to learn  
What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn  
That charts? Legit  
Either work hard or you might as well quit_

_That's word because you know..._

_Can't touch this  
Can't touch this_

_Break it down! (music breaks down) Stop, Hammer time!_

_Go with the funk, it is said  
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead  
So wave your hands in the air  
Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair  
This is it, for a winner  
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner  
Move, slide your rump  
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump, bump_

_Yeah... (Can't touch this)  
Look, man (Can't touch this)  
You better get hype, boy, because you know (Can't touch this)  
Ring the bell, school's back in_

_Break it down! (crazy bridge) Stop, Hammer time!_

_You can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
You can't touch this_

_Break it down! (same bridge) Stop, Hammer time!_

_Everytime you see me  
The Hammer's just so hype  
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic  
Now why would I ever stop doing this?  
With others making records that just don't hit  
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay  
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"  
And the rest can go and play_

_Can't touch this  
Can't touch this  
You can't touch this  
Yeah  
Can't touch this  
I told you  
Can't touch this  
Too hype  
Can't touch this  
Yeah we outta here  
Can't touch this_

Yuki goes off the stage. Who knew he loved MC Hammer?

Aaya: (comes back) Sorry it took so long.

Shigure: Where'd you go?

Aaya: Saying hello to the toilet with Kisa.

Kisa: (comes in) I think I have to say hello to the toilet again! (runs back in)

Shigure: Just make sure you don't do it on my nice floor!

Aaya: Shigure, why don't we finish up this party with the 'Electric Slide'?

Shigure: That sounds great, Aaya!

Aaya: Everyone! Get on the stage now!

Yuki: Why?

Aaya: So we can sing together, Yuki!

Yuki: I'll take my chances not to sing.

Shigure: Shut up, Yuki! (grabs Yuki)

Kyo: I'm leaving.

Aaya: Nu-uh! (grabs Kyo) Now we sing! (everyone is on the stage. Kyo and Yuki drank a couple more saki before going up)

Everyone: (singing and dancing to the song)

_You can't see it  
It's electric!  
You gotta feel it  
It's electric!  
Ooh, it's shakin'  
It's electric!  
Jiggle-a-mesa-cara  
She's a pumpin' like a matic  
She's a movin' like electric  
She sure got the boogie_

_You gotta know it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie!  
Now you can't hold it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie!  
But you know it there,  
Yeah here there everywhere_

(Kyo and Yuki pass out again. Kisa comes back but faints & pukes again)

_I've got to move,  
I'm going on a party ride  
I've got to groove, groove, groove,  
And from this music  
I just can't hide._

_Are you comin' with me?  
Come let me take you on a party ride  
And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you  
I'll teach you the electric slide_

_Some say it's mystic  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
You can't resist it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
You can't do without it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
Jiggle-a-meso-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic  
She's movin' like electric  
She sure got the boogie_

_Don't wanna lost it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
But you can't choose it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
But you know it's there,  
You here there everywhere_

(horn instrumental. few fainted)

_I've got to move,  
Come let me take you on a party ride  
And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you  
I'll teach you the electric slide_

(horn instrumental. lil more fainted)

_Some say it's mystic  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
You can't resist it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
You can't do without it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
Jiggle-a-mesa-cara she's a pumpin' like a matic  
She's movein' like electric  
She sure got the Boogie_

(Everyone fainted before the song went off)

_Don't wanna lose it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
But you can't choose it  
It's electric  
Boogie woogie, woogie  
But you know it's there,  
Yeah here there everywhere_

Everyone sprawled across the room. Yuki and Kyo were the first to wake. Suddenly, cops bursted in the room.

Yuki: (under his breath) Damn you Shigure, and all your unluckyness!

Cop: Are all of y'all drunk?

Kyo: Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God!

Cop: You are drunk! I shall take you two in custody!

Yuki: What about the others? They were drinking too.

Cop: They had enough I think.

The cops took Kyo and Yuki away in their police cars. Morning finally came. Everyone woke up. Tohru, being as bright as usual, noticed something was wrong in the picture.

Tohru: Where's Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun?

Shigure: Hell, who cares? I'm hungry!

Tohru: I'll go fix something! (walks off)

* * *

a/n: 

Shall Yuki or Kyo be released from jail? The evil cliffy! (laughs evilly then chokes to death) 'R&R' were her dying wishes...

- Volcan 300


	9. Prison

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 9 - Prison

Ok, first off, I'm not one of those girls that thinks about romance or anything romantic. Second, I'm in seventh grade, what do you expect? Me being a dictionary? Thirdly, I told you in the first chapter that it was gonna be in script form so get over it. Fourth, do I truely care bout the chapter headings? No. Fifth, Kisa and Hiro aren't real people, so who cares if they drink or not? Sixth, I don't really care if you like my idea of them turning gay or not. Other people do. Seventh, yes Anon, I'm writing this for the hell of it. Eighth, Anon, are you gay? Oh, and Kenya, thank you!

* * *

**_thoughts _**(actions) 

There weren't that many beds in the cell. Just like any cell, there was four beds. All were taken. All except one. Kyo and Yuki had to share that bed. It was a very small bed so Yuki just slept on top of Kyo.

Kyo: Ready for more, girly boy?

Yuki: Anytime, stupid cat.

Cell mate #1: NOOO!

Cell mate #2: Not again! Wasn't last night good enough?

Cell mate #3: This is the last I'd say this! COPS! COME OVER HERE!

Cop: Break it up you two!

Cell mate #2: Can you give them a room? PLEASE!

Cop: Nope.

Cell mate #1: This is torture!

Cop: This is jail. Get over it.

Cell mate #3: COME BACK!

Cop: SHUT UP!

Yuki:(pleasurely) No... Not there...

Kyo: Here it comes, girly boy!

Yuki screams and moans. The cell mates are in a corner, in their "happy" place. It was time for the crimanals to be release and have lunch. No one sat by Yuki and Kyo. Only a guydressed up likeMarilyn Manson.

Yuki: Someone actually came over to our table, stupid cat.

Kyo: Hey, you are right. AND I'M NOT A STUPID CAT! (after a little fight between the two Kyo finally said) Damn, you're freaky.

MM imposter: No I'm not. I'm just showing my trueself! (gets into a dramatic pose)

Yuki: Trueself, my ass. Kyo, let's go. (gets up like a snotty brat)

Kyo: Whatever. (leaves with Yuki)

After lunch, the two were put into hard labor. They made it look easy.

Yuki: Oooh! Swing for me again, Kyo!

Kyo: Stupid damn rock! Won't break! (keeps swinging) DAMN RAT! YOU HAVE TO SWING YOUR SIDE TOO, YOU KNOW!

Yuki: Sorry... It's just... Your swing turned me on!

Kyo: Later.

Yuki: WHAT? You can't go!

Kyo doesn't say anything, walks over to a fence with Yuki following. Kyo tries to jump the fence but the police noticed this and shot him. He's still alive. He got shot in the leg.

Kyo: Dammit all! Fuck the cops!

After Kyo was done swearing everybody off, the cops did the 3 cell mates a favor in giving Kyo and Yuki theirown seperate cell. Little did everybody know, someone was sitting in the shadows.

Yuki: Let's do it now before I go to sleep, stupid cat!

Kyo: I can't do it when there's someone sitting right there!

Yuki: You did it in front of those three muscular men!

Kyo: That's different! There's someone starring at us in the shadows!

Yuki: Scaredy cat! (walks over to the shadow then jumps back in fear)

Kyo: And I'm a scaredy cat? (walks over there then jumps in Yuki's arms) What the hell is that thing?

Yuki: I don't know! (both coward toward the cell door)

The figure in the shadow finally showed its face.

Yuki: Oh, thank God. (sighs with relief) It's just Akito.

Kyo: (breathing hard and trying not to look scared) I knew it thewhole time. I was just pretending to be scared so I could be in that damn rat's arms.

Akito: Yea right.

Yuki: Say, Akito, why are you in a _man's_ prison cell when you're a woman?

Akito: They thought I was a man touching some innocent little girl. I was just showing her my technique.

Kyo: That's great. So is everyone in our family turning gay?

Akito: No. Just the zodiacs. Every 100 years, a generation of zodiacs will turn gay. Don't know why excately, just how it is.

Yuki: I never knew that.

Kyo: But I was going to tell Tohru I loved her but no! I have to be gay!

Guy from other cell: SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!

Their second night was ok as long as Yuki had Kyo.

* * *

a/n 

Sorry for the short chapter! AND I'M ALIVE! Before I get kill again, please R&R!

- Volcan 300

p.s. is that romantic enough for you? Because last time i did something romantic, i was told it was to deep. make up your friggin minds!


	10. Day 2

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 10 - Day 2

Hello my dear friends, furuba lovers, gay people, and who ever else reads this. Dunno really if gay people read this or not. So sorry if it offended you. Only 700 hits and we surpass my friends story! (she has 1710 hits but not for long) This story has passed the 1000 hit mark! So it made me want to update it again! (smiles)

* * *

Hey, I don't get evil reviews! Yes! (does weird hand motion) 

Kenya: (laughs) So is everybody who read this story in the seventh grade or something? To tell you the truth, though my life may seem "perfect" and shit, it's not. Sure I may have a big new house and all that, rumors spreading bout me and my friend being "Partners in bed". Stupid fat gay kid. I hate my life but I guess that's what happens when your turning punk. (more than likely this summer) I actually almost killed myself by accident so many times when I was younger. (sweat drop)

Darkfire1313: (laughs) I write things for the hell of it many times. Paigey forced me into writing a whole page of this manga we are creating (title changed to Demon Child) and after i spent the whole night till 12 writing it, the next morning she told me she decided to change everything. I almost starting to flip her off and cuss at her like hell.

Chizz-muffinChik: Sorry, the story is kinda random. I thought of it in my sleep. After seeing that naked statue of that man (revieling it) I could never have dreams that weren't bout sex & I couldn't look at boys/men straightly. It messed me up.

KounPanda: Welcome back dear friend. I missed your reviews. Heck, I missed everybody's reviews!

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions) 

It was the next morning. Or second day of jail for our three criminals. (a/n criminals, what a laugh!) Even though they had enough beds for everyone, Yuki still climbed in bed with Kyo. Akito watching. Sick hentai. Oh well, I guess we all have our "sick hentai" moments.

Akito:(awed) I never knew you two were great lovers.

Kyo: That's the part I hate. I hate him. So why do I keep doing this to him everyday, dammit?

Yuki: I loved it!

Kyo: (edging away) You're turning into your brother! STAY AWAY, AYAME CLONE! (runs off but hits the cell door) Oww...

Akito: Stupid monster...

Yuki: Am I really turning into my brother, Akito?

Akito: Sadly, yes.

Yuki: NOOOOOOO! (falls down on his knees, face is looking at the ceiling as he keeps screaming "No")

Jail Dude: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Cop: Ok, time for breakfast, bitches. (unlocks the cells for them to get out and go to breakfast. they're being escourted by a cop of course)

Kyo: Great, and do more work. (randomly yells) IT'S ALL SHIGURE'S FAULT! HIM BEING ALL UNLUCKY AND SHIT!

Cop: I never said you could talk, orangey! (hits Kyo with his beating stick)

Kyo walked to the mess hall, rubbing his arm and swearing. Oh, and flipping people off with his good hand.

Kyo: God, I hate this place. I need to get out!

Yuki: I wonder what the others are doing...

BACK TO OTHERS

Everyone is sitting around having the best breakfast ever. There were pancakes, biscuits, eggs that were both scrambled and not scrambled, bacon, should I keep going on? Well, the point is, they had a better breakfast than Kyo, Yuki, and Akito.

Shigure: We should bless the unfortunate Kyo and Yuki for not being here to eat this food with us. Even though they might have better food than Tohru's cooking. Let's have a minute in blessing them.

Tohru: Yes, we should.

Everyone closed there eyes to bless the two criminals. 1... 2...

Shigure: NOW LET'S EAT! (starts eating his food)

Momiji: (to Tohru) That was nice to bless them...

Tohru: (to Momiji) Yes it was, Momiji-kun... (both smiles)

BACK TO THE CRIMINALS

Kyo: (looking at disgust when the ugly fat lunch lady with a hairy mole dumped food on his tray. Trust me, it didn't look like food) What the hell is this?

Lunch Lady: (evilly) Today's breakfast special.

Kyo: Well, are you going to tell me what it is or isn't, old hag?

Lunch Lady: All the breakfast foods mixed together. Maybe with a lil of last nights dinner. (grins evilly) Enjoy.

Kyo: I think I'm gonna be sick...

Yuki: Thanks for asking her, stupid cat! Now I can't eat!

Akito: Isn't there anything better to eat?

Lunch Lady: Nope. (dumps the "food" on Akito's plate) Eat up.

The three walked over to an open table when the Marylin Manson imposter came over.

Kyo: Not you again.

Akito: Be nice, monster. He's my friend.

Yuki/Kyo: FRIEND?

Yuki: Doesn't look like a friend to me!

MM Imposter: Well believe it.

Yuki: What if I don't want to.

Akito: Don't be like, Yuki.

Kyo: Screw you guys, I'm leaving. (starts to walk off)

Yuki: Come back, stupid cat! (goes after them)

MM Imposter: Losers... (shape of an L on his forehead)

Kyo: Gotta get out of here! Now where's an exit? (looking around)

Yuki: What are you doing, stupid cat?

Kyo: I'm being smart by finding an exit.

Yuki: You know, you just called yourself stupid but not really stupid.

Kyo: CRAP! You're right! (hits himself on the head) Now where's that damn exit? (looks around again and spots a door with 'EXIT' written in red on top of a door) Well that was easy. Too easy...

Yuki: Shouldn't we go get Akito?

Kyo: Hell no. (walks through the door)

Yuki: Oh yeah, you hate Akito. (follows in through the door but stops)

Kyo: I knew it was too easy... (attack dogs andlaser guns are surrounding them) Yuki, do you still have that meat?

Yuki: Yea. (pulls out meat from inside pants)

Kyo: That's where you kept it? (looks disgusted)

Yuki: Yupe. It makes me feel good.

Kyo: Eeww... Just hurry up and throw the meat to the dogs before I puke!

Yuki: Keep your pants on! (throws meat towards dogs)

Kyo: I should be the one saying keep your pants on! (pointing at Yuki's bare legs)

Yuki: Yea your right for once. (pulls pants back on)

Kyo: So, how are we going to get past thelaser guns...?

Yuki: Uh... Let's do acrobatic moves!

Kyo: Ok... (doesn't like the idea)

Both Yuki and Kyo did Kart Wheels to get past the laser guns. Now their next thing to past was the bobbed wire fence.

Kyo: Here I go! (does constant Kart Wheels and jumps the fence)

Yuki: You know, you could've just walked through the gate door. (walks through the gate door)

Kyo: Dammit! The authorof this storyis trying to screw me over again!

Yuki: Let's go, stupid cat.

They walk off to Shigure's house. If only they knew they were in a different town... In _China_...

* * *

a/n

Mwahahahaha! They shall never get back to Japan! Ok... I lie... Everybody will kick my ass if they stayed in China. Well R&R! And I own your ass! (my new saying)

Volcan 300


	11. In A New World With You

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 11 - In A New World With You

A dowma, friends! I've been teaching myself Japanese. 'a dowma' means 'hello'. I can write, read, and speak lil Japanese but I'm learning fast. You know, in Japan the 7th graders there are still learning the alphabet. They have over 800 letters to learn. Dammit, my friend's story went up by 400! She now has over 2100! Wait... She gave up on that story... So technically, it's my story.

* * *

Another reviewer! 

Kenya: That's fine if your friends are scared of this story. I scare a lot of people. It's funny actually. Which makes me happy b/c (I guess you could say) I'm kinda anti-social. Sure I do have a friend (1 -2 since the rumor) to hang out with. It doesn't matter if you want to tell me your saying or not. And Marilyn Manson was the only scary guy I could really think of.

* * *

**_thoughts_** (actions) 

Kyo and Yuki walked into a new town wondering where the hell they are.

Kyo: Dammit! I can't make out any of these words! (trying to read a sign that was clearly in a different language)

Yuki: That's because you're stupid! (tries to read the sign) Hell, you're right, I can't read this either. (Chinese man walks pass them) Excuse me sir! Excuse me! (Chinese man didn't understand him so Yuki turned him around to look at him) Where are we, sir?

Chinese man: Hm...? (realises that they are speaking Japanese, so he tries to speak Japanese) Hong Kong, China.

Kyo: WHAT DID YOU SAY, OLD MAN?

Chinese man: Hong Kong, China. (walks away smiling)

Yuki: I can't believe we're in Hong Kong, China... I need to sit! WHERE'S A FUCKING BENCH WHEN YOU NEED ONE? (falls down)

Kyo: We're in China, you idiot! They don't have benches everywhere like we do!

a/n: I don't know really if China has benches or not. So don't blame me.

Yuki: Well, go find me a bench!

Kyo: What do you want me to do? Carry it all the way over to you?

Yuki: Yupe.

Kyo: I'M NOT SOMEONE WHO WILL DO YOUR DIRTY WORK, DAMN RAT!

Yuki: JUST GO FIND ME A BENCH!

Kyo: MAKE ME!

Yuki: MAYBE I WILL!

Kyo: THEN DO IT!

This argument went on for the least 2 hours. Finally, they decided to get something to eat.

Kyo: Damn, where's the best food place? (trying to make out the signs)

Yuki: We don't have Chinese money, you idiot! (finds a Mc Donalds) Maybe they'll take our yen!

They both ran to Mc Donalds. Kyo got hit by a car. He's alive. A bicycle rider hit Yuki. Today was just not their day.

Kyo: FUCK YOU ALL! (tries to get up but falls down. then flips everyone off)

Yuki: (gets up) Stupid. (walks in Mc Donalds)

Cashier: (talks perky) Hi! Welcome to Mc Donalds! May I take your order?

Yuki: You're Japanese?

Cashier: Uh-huh! Now can I take your order?

Yuki: No. Will you take my yen instead?

Cashier: Sure! Now can I take your order?

Yuki: You're annoying. But I'll have a Big Mac and a medium Coke with fries.

Cashier: Your total comes to 5,000 yen.

Yuki: Ok. (pulls out 5,000 yen and hands it to her)

Cashier: Thank you! (hands him the food and drink) Come again!

Yuki: Whatever. (walks over to a chair)

Kyo: (walks in limping) Damn you, Volcan 300!

Yuki: Who are you talking to, stupid cat?

Kyo: The author of this story, damn rat!

Yuki: Ok... **_Maybe that hit with the car made him see or hear things..._**

Kyo: Where's my food, damn rat?

Yuki: I honestly thought you were dead. So, I didn't buy you anything.

Kyo starts swearing and flipping people off.

Yuki: Here. Go get yourself something to eat before we get kick out. (hands him some yen)

Cashier: Hi! Welcome to Mc Donalds! May I take your order?

Kyo: You're scary. But I want chiken strips, fries, and a medium Dr. Pepper.

Cashier: You're total comes to 4,000 yen.

Kyo: Whatever, bitch. (hands her 4,000 yen)

Cashier: Thank you! (hands him food and drink) Please come again!

Kyo doesn't say anything but walks away with his food towards Yuki.

Kyo: Hey, damn rat, how are we suppose to get out of China and back to Japan?

Yuki: I honestly don't know. Maybe we can call Shigureor Hatorito come and get us.

Kyo: You honestly think they'll do that?

Yuki: I don't know. If they don't, we're screwed. I'll call them.

Kyo: Great! Was that her intention? Getting us screwed?

Yuki: (on the pay phone) Tohru-san, tell Shigure or Hatori that they need to come get us in Hong Kong, China! It's an emergency!

Tohru: Ok. (hangs up)

Yuki: NO! Tohru-san! Don't hang up!

Kyo: We're screwed.

BACK TO OTHERS

Tohru: Shigure-san, Yuki just called.

Shigure: What'd he say?

Tohru: He said he was in Hong Kong, China and that you need to pick him up. Or Hatori needs to.

Shigure: I'll do it when I feel like it. (watching his soaps)

Tohru: Ok. (walks off to finish the laundry)

BACK TO THE SCREWEES

Kyo: (banging his head on a wall) Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

Yuki: Oh my God... We're stuck here... FOREVER! (echos)

* * *

a/n 

Oh, the suspense!Sorry for short chapter.R&R if you'd like to see if Kyo and Yuki ever get back to beloved Japan. I own your ass.

Volcan 300


	12. Are We There Yet?

a/n: Yo. I realized that I say 'Yo' a lot. Well anyways, I decided to put this lil mini story that me and Hakowa (privity so we shall show up as Hakowa, my friend. Rikku, me) made up in FWC. ok, not really a story but it could be.

Disclaimer: No I don't own Fruits Basket. But I do own a furuba anime & all the books & my kyo kitty hat. No, you can't have Edward Elric, he's my lover. No, you can't be Roy Mustang's secret love child, that's me. No, you can't have Denny Bloch, he's Hakowa's lover. No, you can't be Frank Archer's secret love child, that's Hakowa's daddy. (we were discussing FMA) Now on with the mini story!

Rikku:That was our lost... (tear, tear)

Hakowa: Don't mention it. (looks away) Oh, did you see Dante's dress?

Rikku: Yea. I didn't know Ed could dance.

Hakowa: I think Rose held him to close! (closes eyes)

Rikku: Rose is getting to close to my man! (pressure point)

Hakowa: Think about this, Envy killed mine! (crying) WHY?

Rikku: He's evil. (claps hands together) Right!

Koenma: Junior doesn't think so!

Rikku: Where'd Junior come from? (confused look) I don't remember us inviting him over.

Hakowa: Don't talk to our guest that way.

Rikku: Go away guest! I'm trying to kill someone! (pulls out huge gun. more than likely stoled it from Hawkeye)

Hakowa: (makes a cannon and aims for Rikku) Yes. I'm happy.

Rikku: (dodges cannon ball) Not cool! (lots of pressure points) Me and Ed are suppose to be together. Not Rose, Ed, and baby!

Hakowa: The baby is a bomb. (draws a circle that's on the baby)

Rikku: Bad baby.

Hakowa: Yes, but Rose played with her dye when she was a kid.

Rikku: She's stupid.

Hakowa: Yupe.

Rikku: I don't see what Ed sees in her! (very angry and more pressure points)

Hakowa: Evil.. (tear, tear)

Rikku: (back to normal) Wrath's still alive, you know.

Hakowa: No, Envy did away with him.

Rikku: No, he has to fight monster Gluttony and when Al's a human. Then he goes back to the gate.

Hakowa: Why?

Rikku: To help bring Ed back. (cough, to me, cough)

Hakowa: Wrath?

Rikku: Yupe. Gluttony tries to stop him though. Did you not watch Gluttony vs Wrath video?

Hakowa: No, was that from the show?

Rikku: I think so. If not then the movie because Ed was 18 I think.

Hakowa: And Al's hair? Explain.

Rikku: (sigh) His hair is like when he was a boy but longer and pulled back into a pony tail. Hair goes around somewhere to the shoulders. Ed's longer in a pony tail. Oh, and Al wears Ed's clothes.

Hakowa: Pony tail?

Rikku: (sighs) When he turned back into a human, it was already long I suppose.

Hakowa: But in Shambalas concure, Al isn't human. (a/n: that's the movie name)

Rikku: Well then, he must've turned back into a human during the movie. Or after.

THE END. So much for a short story. Oh well, let's get back to the real story.

* * *

Reviews! Yay! 

Kenya: Oh, well sorry for the dirtyness. (smiles) My mind has never been "clean" bout anything since I saw that statue guy's penis. That's a pretty cool saying. I just tell people who are bugging me to either Fuck off or Die. No, not really. I'm one of the weirdest people at my school.

Creepysharingan: Hakowa! My Bestest best friend! We cannot let our dream be unfulfill! I'll be working on the characters now. (sweat drop)

* * *

Gay Zodiacs 

Chapter 12 - Are We There Yet?

**_thoughts_** (actions)

Tohru: (comes back into the room) Say, Shigure-san, shouldn't you go get Yuki and Kyo? They called 3 days ago for you to come pick them up.

Shigure: (looking up from his book) I really enjoyed the peace and quiet though... (sighs and gets up and stretches) I suppose I should...

BACK TO KYO & YUKI

Kyo: Where are we exately? (walking down some road, not really sure if they are still in China)

Yuki: I don't know, so shut up and keep walking. (walking ahead)

Kyo: Are we there yet?

Yuki: For the 5 hundredth time, NO!

Kyo: Are you sure?

Yuki: Yes. Why?

Kyo: Cause this sign says that Tokyo is right in front of us.

Yuki: What?

Kyo: It says 'Welcome to Tokyo'. (pointing at the welcome sign)

Yuki: Wow. So we are here. You know, I actually thought that the author, Rikku, would've kept us wondering around China more.

Kyo: Who cares? WE'RE HOME! (runs all the way to Shigure's house with Yuki following)

BACK TO SHIGURE'S HOUSE

Shigure: (starts the car) I'll be back whenever.

Tohru: Ok, take care.

Isuzu: See you later, Gure-nii.

Shigure: You too. (backs out)

BACK TO KYO & YUKI

Yuki: Hey! Look, there's Shigure's house right now!

Kyo: Bet I can beat you!

Yuki: You're on!

They run really fast. Then, well... here's what happened. (starts drawing stick people of everybody) Kyo and Yuki were running and running and running. Shigure didn't bother to look back to the driveway and started to go faster than usual. They had a head on collision. Everybody's still alive though.

HOSPITAL

Kyo: (slowly wakes up and looking around) Where are we? And why does my head hurt?

Doctor: Hope Hospital. Your cousin, Shigure, hit youand your other cousinwith his car.

Kyo: Ok. Well, I gotta go home. So, buh-bye. (gets up and leaves. not really knowing he's in a hospital gown with no boxers)

a/n: Man I wish Kyo wasn't gay! (drools as she continues to write)

Doctor: You can't leave.

Kyo: Yea I can. And why do I feel a sudden draft? Ah, I don't give a shit. (continues to leave. all girl nursesand patientswhistled at him) I'm gay.

All Girls: Awww...

Nurse Angie: That's to bad... I was going to give you my number too!

Kyo: (looks at the blonde, green eye nurse) Well you can't cause my guy cousins will kick your ass...

Nurse Angie: COUSINS? (shocked) NEVERMIND, SICKO!

Shigure: Kyo, whatever are you doing out of bed?

Kyo: I want to go home.

Shigure: You have to stay at least one night here.

Kyo: No way. I want to be in my room.

Shigure: Then why'd you leave. And will you please put boxers or shorts on? People are giving you weird sick looks!

Kyo: Then why are you looking, Shigure?

Shigure: There's nothing else to look at.

Kyo: Where's that damn rat's room?

Shigure: Over there. (points to a room. Kyo walks in there)

Yuki: Oww... My head... (holding a hand to his head) What happened?

Kyo: Shigure ran over us. (sitting right beside Yuki)

Yuki: We're running out of luck...

Kyo: We never had luck.

Yuki: At least we get free food!

Kyo: (on top of Yuki) Let's skip the food!

Yuki: Oh yes! (they start kissing)

Let's skip that night and go straight to the morning. Only because this is rated T and not M. Yuki and Kyo were getting dressed and everything. Nurse Angie came in.

Nurse Angie: Oh dear God! Don't tell me you two...!

Kyo: Then we won't. (pulling his boxers on)

Nurse Angie: EWWW! SICKOS!

Yuki: We'll be leaving. (getting his shirt on)

They leave but this time, Hatori's taking them home so that no accident will occur.

* * *

a/n: 

I probably won't update as much this week since I have bench marks and Iowa Basic Skills Test. I just got done making 4 dresses and 1 suit for a couple of people in mine, Hakowa, and my younger cousin's manga. And9 masks for the masquerade ball, so I'm kinda out of it I guess you could say.

I still own your ass.  
Volcan 300


	13. Fashion Police on St Patty's Day?

Gay Zodiacs

Chapter 13 - Fashion Police on St. Patricks Day?

A dowma again dear friends. Long time no see. We now have spring break for the whole next week. I actually got up today not knowing it was St. Patty's day. Before I found out I put on my green shirt I slept in & my camou shorts. Well enough bout me, on with the story. (sorry bout short chapter)

* * *

Joy reviews! Oh yeah, I've been awake for officially 2 & a half hr. 

Kenya: Oh my God, I have this really bad saying stuck in my head right now. It's bout Inu Yasha and Kagome though. It's good that you like this story.

hyper-writer14: Yea, well that's what you get when you have dirty mind like mine.

* * *

(actions)**_ thoughts_**

Momiji and Hiro were walking down an empty alley way. Hiro, looking as bored as ever and Momiji looking as gaylyas can be. Both of course were wearing green since it was St. Patty's Day.

Hiro: Momiji, where the hell are we going?

Momiji: To this haunted house!

Hiro: (not even excited) Joy.

Momiji: It's suppose to be really fun, Hiro!

Hiro: Then why do we have to go through this alley?

Momiji: (gayly) This is the haunted house! I was given specific instructions to go here and bring one person with me.

Hiro: And that person just had to be me.

Momiji: Yupe! (continueing walking)

A hidden shadow pops up in front of the two. Hiro nearly peed in his pants.

Momiji: (laughing his head off) HAHHAHHAHAHA! More! More!

Hiro: (breathing hard) Why are you here, Ayame?

Ayame: Why? Because I've gotten a new job!

Momiji: So you're not making any more pretty dresses, Ayame?

Aaya: By day, I'm a designer for dresses. By night, I'm part of the squad!

Hiro: You're a police man?

Aaya: Yupe. And Hiro, you're going to have to go down to the station with me.

Hiro: Why? I didn't do anything.

Aaya: Yes you did.

Hiro: Then wha'd I do?

Aaya: You comitted a crime.

Hiro: What kind? All I'm doing is standing in an alley way.

Aaya: You comitted the crime of fashion! You're clothes are certainly all wrong!

Momiji: Oh no! Hiro, you're going to jail!

Hiro: Should've known he was a fashion police... (walks off)

Aaya: You can't walk away from the scene of a crime!

Hiro: Watch me. (continues to walk)

Momiji: (yelling) Hiro, we'll understand your problems if you come with us!

Hiro: Momiji, your actually believing this crap?

Momiji: Just listen to what Aaya has to say!

Hiro: No!

Aaya: Why not?

Hiro: You'll turn me gay before I can tell Kisa that I love her! (blushes when he realised he said that and covers his mouth)

Aaya: There's no point in doing that. Every zodiac member has to be gay.

Hiro: Says who?

Aaya/Momiji: Akito.

Aaya: And of course this is the author's intentions.

Hiro: Dammit...

Aaya: (grabs him) Now let's go and change those hideous clothes of yours!

Momiji: Can I join?

Aaya: (gayly) Sure!

Momiji and Ayame dragged Hiro down the streets to get his clothes changed. They dragged him into this really gay store called The Styles of Tomorrow.

Hiro: (fighting) No! Not there! Anywhere but there!

Momiji: Stop fighting Hiro! Now let's get you some new clothes!

They all go inside. Hiro is tied up so he can't run off.

Clerk: Welcome, may I help you?

Aaya: I'd like to use my member discount on this fine lad. (indecating Hiro) He needs a new wardrobe badly.

Clerk: (looks at Hiro) Oh my God! You're right! Let's get him changed right away!

The whole Hiro changing clothes took hours. Till finally Momiji, Ayame, and the clerk thought that 10 of the thousands of outfits looked fabulous on him.

Aaya: (tear streak) I love it!

Clerk: Ah, he is deffinately in style! (proud of herself)

Momiji: Yay! Hiro finally has some fashion in him!

Hiro: (comes out with the gayest clothes on) I think not! (tries to pull it off but it wouldn't dare come off) What the friggin heck? It won't come off! (tries harder)

Aaya: That's because this is the new outfit of tomorrow! It's not suppose to come off.

Momiji: Where are you going, Hiro? (notices he's walking off again)

Hiro: To go kill myself.

He walks outside and runs into someone.

Hiro: Sorry. (looks up) Kisa?

Kisa: Hello, Hiro! Nice clothes.

Hiro: (blushes) You think?

Kisa: Yes! And so does Onee-chan!

Hiro: Huh? (looks up and there's Tohru) Ohit's just the stupid woman.

Kisa: Hiro! Be nice to onee-chan! She's my new found love.

Hiro: WHAT?

Tohru: It's true.

Kisa: I'm surprised Izusu is fine with it.

Tohru: Me too.

Kisa: Hiro, are you ok?

Hiro: No... NO! (falls down again on his knees crying) No, this can't be happening!

Tohru: There, there, Hiro-san.

Hiro: I don't need your sympathy! (runs off)

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a/n: 

Hello. This has now come to my attention that sometime soon, this story has to end. But somehow I need Hiro to turn gay though... Any ideas? I welcome them. R&R thanxz.

I own everybody's ass, now get over it.  
Volcan 300


	14. Memorial Day

a/n: Hey. Sorry for not updating so soon. Yesterday was my last day for school. Me & Hakowa got bored in FWC so I let Hakowa do my hair & I stoled her sis's jacket shirt thing. But I'll return it in a week or so.

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THANK YOU LIST! 

AlbinoSeftheron - Hakowa, thanxz for the new hair style. You are now my personal hair/clothes stylist. Hailey can have her jacket thingy later next week or something like that.

Kenya - Sorry, still no idea for poor straight Hiro...

NeKO-gIrLcHaN - Thanxz a lot.

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Reader's Tools 

**_thoughts_**

(actions)

a/n

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Gay Zodiacs  
Chapter 14 - Memorial Day 

It was suppose to be rainy day but the weather man lied to thousands and thousands of angry people. One, they were pissed because they wanted to play in the rain. Two, they cancled all they're memorial day plans. Except for the Sohma household. Every zodiacs plus Tohru was there.

Tohru: (putting the food down on the picnic table) Ahh... It's such a nice day today!

Shigure: (watching the news) That's... weird...

Reporter from tv: And other news... A pterydactal (a/n: not sure if that's how you spell it) has been sighted and it's headed straight for Tokyo. Be careful and watch out for it. If you see it, call this number. (number flashes on the screen)

Yuki: (walks in) What is it?

Shigure: Something bout a pterydactal.

Kyo: (eating a rice ball) Probably just a hoax.

Tohru: Hopefully it won't spoil our memorial day plans... (knock on door) I'll get it! (opens the door. Haru, Isuzu, Hiro, Kisa, Hatori, Ayame, Ritsu, Kagura,Kureno, and Momiji all came in)

Ritsu: (freaks out) I'M SO SORRY THAT I'M LATE! I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU FOR MY LATENESS! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! SSSSOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY! I SHALL BE PUNISHED FOR BEING LATE!

Tohru: (sweat drop) It's ok. Really.

Momiji: TOHRU!

Tohru: Oh! Momiji-kun! (they go and fix the food and stuff with Kisa, Isuzu, and Kagura)

Ayame: Ahh! The decoration is all wrong! Someone should put a stop to allthis! I shall fix it at once! (starts redecorating the place)

Shigure: Ummm... Aaya... you don't have to redecorate my house...

Aaya: But I have to, Shigure!

Shigure: (sweat drops) Ok... Just don't break my house.

Yuki: Hatori! Why the hell did you bring Ayame!

Hatori: I didn't. The bastard followed me.

Yuki: Then make him leave!

Hatori: Already tried. Nothing worked.

Haru: Hiro, you do know that you're the only one that's not gay yet, right?

Hiro: What if I don't wanna be gay? What then?

Haru:You'll be gay eventually...

Tohru: (comes back in) Picnic is ready! Everybody can eat now!

Kyo: Yes! Food! I'll eat more food than that damn rat, Yuki!

Yuki: You wish, stupid cat. (the two start eating like hell)

Everyone started to eat and enjoy each other's company. Suddenly, white stuff fell on Kyo's head. It started to trickle down his clothes.

Kyo: What the hell! What is this!

Momiji: Ewww! Kyo you smell! (holding his nose)

Shigure: (shocked) Well... um... Just look up... (shakingly points upward)

Everyone looked up and saw this huge pterydactal staring at them.

Ritsu: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! IT HAS TO BE ALL MY FAULT THAT'S IT'S HERE! I'M SOOORRY! (cries)

Kisa: It's ok, Ristu.

Pterydactal: (shrieks and grabs Hiro and flies away)

Aaya: (comes to join everyone at the picnic) I'm finally done with the redesigning!

Kureno: I can't believe that just happened...

Tohru: Will Hiro-san be able to come back...?

Haru: Probably not.

Kyo: Who cares? (continues eating)

Aaya: Shigure! You must come and look at your new fabulous house! (drags Shigure inside)

Shigure: Oh my God... What the hell did you do! (doesn't like the new make over)

Reporter on tv: The pterydactal that has been spotted has appareantly eating all the straight people living in Japan. Right now the pterydactal is carrying away a small boy. (shows a clip of Hiro) And other news...

Hatori: (turns the tv off) Well... That was something.

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a/n:

Short I know. Who cares? well, R&R!

Volcan 300


	15. Apologies from the Author

You know, I'll be honest with everyone who ever read my stories: I am extremely nervous typing this. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it's because I've been honestly trying to forget all about fanfiction all together.. My fingers are literally shaking as I type this, haha.

Basically, this is my apologies to you, the readers, of abandonment. I never intended on doing this. I wouldn't be doing this until this August when I rediscovered fanfiction. My reason of abandonment (which probably might not be that great of an excuse but it'll have to do) is that one of my best friends helped me write all of my stories but we went through a terrible rough patch. Back then, I probably would've blamed it all completely on her but that isn't completely true. Back 4 – 5 years ago, my step-grandpa, Al, died during my 8th grade Christmas break. Of course I felt sad about it but it angered me when I did because he wasn't that nice to me when he was alive. Before I finally evened out thanks to puberty, he'd always have some mean remark of my short chubbiness. I hated him for it. I never once told a soul about the loss and I wasn't going to talk to my family about it. Bad choice on my part. I started being more distant to my friends, sometimes lashed out on them. I secretly wanted to tell them but never knew how to bring it up. Then the friend that helped me write my stories gained a friend that was her neighbor, so I felt replaced. This added to my beginning depression. Towards the end of my 8th grade year, I was in a deep depression. I haven't been diagnosed clinically depressed, didn't need a doctor to tell me something I already knew. I just wanted to forget everything and pretend that those 2 great years being her friend never existed. Thus my leaving of fanfiction. Then I started gaining weight, this added more to the depression. Sometime during 9th grade, I gained 2 new friends, who now I'm happily still friends with and now call them BFFs, haha.

Now I'm a senior in high school. I'd love to say my depression is over but it's not. Majority of the time I have it under control on my own without outside help (pills, therapist, ect). But there are still those days I think back to that time when I was the happiest at my school and I get sad and have myself a good cry. I've done my best to turn my life back around. I've lost all that weight I gained in just this summer; 4 pants size.

What does this mean, you may ask. I'm considering picking back or rewriting (again, lol) my stories. I have just reread a few chapters of my stories and now I'd have to agree with one of my commenters, Fanfic Shark (commented on Gay Zodiacs), that my old writing style of when I was a 13 year old animetard sounded like I was dropped on my head, lol. But I didn't like reading the other part of the comment which was something about saying I was dumb, I remember it made me sad, ha.. I can tell you this: I can now write a 2 – 3 page essay about practically anything by BS-ing and get a high B or low A, and pull a 5 page research paper out of my butt in an hour & receive a B. I dunno if that really means anything but I guess what I was going for was "That's how good I am when I'm not trying. Think about how great I might be when I do actually try."

So I'd like you, the readers, to let me know if you accept my apologies and if you're interested any at all for me to write again. Maybe even something completely different than my crazed younger years. I've mellowed out since then but I still have hidden traces of my younger self, haha. I'll let you know now, the only major classes I have this year is College English and AP Art Studio. Next semester College Algebra will be thrown into the mix but I don't think it'll be that hard because I've been pretty good at algebra since I had the most amazing algebra 2 teacher ever. He actually made me understand math.

Again, sorry for the 4 - 5 year absence. Please don't hate me that much. If you don't want to leave a review/comment, then email me:

I'd love to hear from you guys again! :)

LISTENFORMYSQUEAK: This is a review/comment from about 2 years ago. I'm sorry for killing your favorite character. I think I originally planned for him to just magically come back to life or something, lol. I will tell you this: your "lol" brought a much needed smile to my face, thank you! :)

Fanfic Shark: Another comment from about 2 years ago. Even though I had abandoned Gay Zodiacs 2 years prior your comment, I was sad to read your comment. I've never liked being called dumb much like anyone else. But I will say that now, after rereading a bit of my stories, I can see what made you think I was dropped on my head, lol. All I can say I was f-ed in the brain during my 2 year fanfiction writing career, haha.


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